Utoto
by wildcat7898
Summary: A young human named Perrin enrolls at the Vulcan Science Academy and becomes a student of Spock's. This story follows "Thaya."
1. Chapter 1

Title: Utoto

Author: Wildcat

Series: TOS

Rating: T

Codes: S/U, Sarek, Perrin

Summary: A young human named Perrin enrolls at the Vulcan Science Academy and becomes a student of Spock's.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Spock, Uhura, Sarek, and Perrin. I have just borrowed them for a while and will not profit from any of this.

This story takes place between Thaya and The Softest Star on my Spock/Uhura timeline, but it's set well into the future.

Thanks to my friend Jungle Kitty for beta reading.

Feedback is desired.

Utoto, prologue

Her eyes already on the massive, unadorned stone arch, she stepped off the cross-city shuttle and halted before the main entrance to the Vulcan Science Academy. She could have chosen to disembark at a location closer to her first class, but she wouldn't have dreamed of doing that today. Her first day of graduate school was much too important to do anything other than pass beneath this famous stone arch.

She could already see that this was the right place for her. It used to be that Oxford was the right place for her, but Geoffrey had ruined everything. He and she had been so good together, attending fancy parties, meeting important people, and getting the occasional mention in the London news, but now he had someone else by his side to help him advance his promising political career. Well, that was just fine. She had always thought that Mr. and Mrs. Geoffrey Byrne had a nice ring to it, but it was his loss. He'd realize that someday.

She ran her fingers through her hair, very aware that her honey-gold highlights would pick up the sun, and she went through the gate. Other students walked quietly toward their classes, and she nodded politely at each one she passed. Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan... Many, many Vulcans. Ah, a human. She held his eyes for just an instant longer than necessary, and she couldn't help but smile in satisfaction at the interest she saw on his face. Poor young man. He found her attractive, but she could tell just by looking at him that he was a nobody.

Finally, she entered the physics building, and she paused to appreciate the coolness. Everyone had warned her that Vulcan was hot, but she hadn't understood just how bad the heat really was. It sucked all the moisture out of her hair and her skin. She'd have to ensure that she spent as little time outside as possible, or she'd end up looking like an old woman by the time she graduated.

She climbed two flights of stairs, and then looked at the room numbers as she walked down the hallway. Her first class was on this floor, and it should be somewhere very near. There. Room 312. Introduction to Interdimensional Physics, Spock.

Of course, she'd heard of Spock. He had a reputation as a difficult but fair teacher, and one of her professors at Oxford had even used a textbook he'd written. She'd heard that he had been famous many years ago for being in the military or something, but that had all happened well before she was born. Now he lived on Vulcan and ran the physics department, teaching a few classes when he had time. She'd actually been very lucky to get this class. Another student had dropped out at the last moment, and the registrar had contacted her just yesterday about changing her schedule.

She entered the classroom and found a seat. There were already thirteen other students here-a Tellarite, a human female, a bunch of Vulcans-and four empty chairs. No, correct that. Four more Vulcans entered the class and took their seats, and a moment later an older Vulcan man entered the room and sat down at the desk at the front. That must be Spock. He didn't really look like she'd imagined. For one thing, he had quite a bit of gray in his hair for a Vulcan in his nineties.

The chronometer at the front of the class changed to 0800 with a faint ding, and Spock stood.

"Greetings," he said. "I am Spock. I will be your teacher for this course, Introduction to Interdimensional Physics. Your effort here will consist of twenty-five percent classwork and seventy-five percent laboratory work. As you can see, the emphasis is on practical experience. You will work with a laboratory partner. You are free to choose a partner, but I will assign one to you if you prefer. Do you have any questions?"

He had spoken in Vulcan, but the first thing she had done upon learning of her acceptance into the VSA was enroll in an intensive course in conversational Vulcan, so she understood what he was saying. She smiled smugly when she noticed that the other human in the class had to use a universal translator.

No one replied, so he continued.

"Very well. There is a padd on each desk, and if you will bring up the table of contents, we will begin."

As he launched into a description of the course material, Perrin decided that his gray hair suited him. It made him look very distinguished.

End prologue

Utoto, chapter 1

Her arms weighted down with bags, Uhura hurried across the front room and dumped them on the table by the kitchen. There! The last load. Boy, that was a lot of food. She couldn't remember the last time either of them had bought so much. It had been expensive, too-groceries cost a fortune these days. It would definitely be worth it, though. She didn't mind a bit.

She surveyed the bags for a moment and decided to change before unloading anything. She'd had a busy day at work, and the first thing she wanted to do was get her 82-year-old feet out of these shoes. Besides, Spock would be home any moment, and if she waited maybe he'd help.

She was in the bedroom closet when she heard his voice.

"Nyota? Are you here?"

"Oh, hi," she called out. "I'll be right with you."

Quickly fastening the front of her caftan, she slipped her feet into a pair of comfortable old sandals and headed toward the front of the house. Spock was peering into one of the bags when she walked up behind him.

"Hello," she said.

Not looking away from the bag, he leaned in her direction for the kiss that he knew she would place on his cheek.

"What is this?" He pulled a box of pastries from the bag, grimacing slightly as he did so. "They are... purple."

She grinned and took the box from him. "I know they're purple. They're for Derek."

"Ah." He reached into the bag for another item. "And what is this?"

"Stasis pizza. It's for-"

"Derek. So I assumed. It would appear that most of this is for Derek. Is he moving in with us?"

Laughing, she said, "I wish! Saavik called this afternoon and asked if he could come over tomorrow and stay with us for a while. She and Michael decided on the spur of the moment to celebrate their twentieth anniversary by taking a trip."

"Very good. I will be pleased to have the time with him. It seems that we see too little of him lately. I must add, however, that this is a great deal of food for just the three of us."

She picked up several bags and headed into the kitchen. "Saavik said that he's been eating them out of house and home recently. I think we'll need all of this."

"I have noticed that he is growing rapidly. It is nothing short of miraculous that his growth has not been stunted by his diet."

"Oh, for heavens sake. You'd think I was trying to poison him. This stuff isn't that bad. Read the labels."

Spock raised an eyebrow, clearly amused at the tartness in her voice, and began unloading the bags. "I know that you would not purchase something that would harm him. I do question the nutritional value of these 'imitation cheese puffs,' however. I would suspect that the only non-imitation substance in them is cholesterol."

"Well, he obviously isn't suffering too much. He's not just growing rapidly, he's growing like a weed! He'll be taller than me soon." She faced him with a container of ice cream in her hand. "It seems like just yesterday that he was calling us Pawpaw and Nyna because he couldn't pronounce our names. Now Saavik says that he has a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend? Is it not rather soon for that? He is only thirteen standard years old."

"Well, you know how it is at that age." Spotting the dubious expression on his face, she added, "Okay, so maybe you don't, but he probably hasn't even said five words to his so-called girlfriend since they started going steady, and it'll be someone new tomorrow. You'd better get used to it, though. He might look like a Vulcan, but you and I both know that his Vulcan hormones are completely outnumbered by his human and Romulan ones. This is just the beginning. The next thing you know, it'll be real girlfriends and dates and dances and who knows what else."

"It is the 'who knows what else' that concerns me. He is too young for that."

She walked toward the pantry and patted him on the rump as she passed. "Just because you waited until you were in your thirties doesn't mean that he should. Oh, don't look at me like that! You can bet that I'll be keeping a close eye on him to make sure nothing happens on my watch, but raging hormones are just part of that energetic, reckless, awkward, and absolutely wonderful state called utoto."

"Utoto?"

"Youth. It's Swahili. I can still remember the look on my grandfather's face whenever I would do something foolish. He'd just shake his head and say 'Utoto,' as if that explained it all."

"Interesting. That word is actually similar to the Vulcan word for youth, which is ahn'to."

"Honey, unless the idea of fun on a Vulcan Friday night is piling into a flitter and circling the local hang-out, I'd say that they're not similar at all."

"There are no Fridays on Vulcan."

"My point exactly."

"Ah. I see." He began collecting the empty bags for the recycler. "Derek is on break from school now, is he not?"

"Yes. Saavik said that he'd be fine on his own during the day, but I thought I'd take some time off from work anyway. Maybe we can find something fun to do. Do you think that you could join us, even if only for an afternoon or two?"

"I will see what I can do, but I fear it will be difficult."

"Yes, I know. You have your hands full with your students right now. When are their midterm projects due?"

"In eight days. Perhaps we can plan an activity during the evening. I will simply have to make it clear that I will be unavailable."

"You've been putting in plenty of extra time with them. I think they'll understand that you have a life."

"A life? I believe they would be shocked to learn that I have a life."

She chuckled. "You're probably right."

"Ah, speaking of that..."

"Oh, no. Do you have to go in tonight?"

"Yes, I must. I am sorry, Nyota."

"That's okay, I suppose. I can spend the evening getting Saavik's room ready for Derek. Is it that girl, er, Praline again?"

"Her name is Perrin, and yes, I will be working with her. It is not an imposition, however, for she is actually quite gifted. She was simply left in a difficult position when her lab partner dropped the class."

"I know, and I really don't mind. I'm sure she's very appreciative of the time you're giving her. Well, why don't we go ahead and get dinner started? The sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back, and I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with you."

"I am looking forward to it, as well."

She gave him one last smile, then opened the stasis unit and began selecting the ingredients for their meal.

...

Entering the computer lab, Spock was not surprised to see Perrin already deeply absorbed in her work. She was quite a dedicated student. She had successfully run her first simulation yesterday, and most students would be willing to base their project on their early results. She had suggested adding a temporal factor to the equations, however, and he could not extrapolate what the result might be, himself. It was quite a fascinating project.

"Greetings, Perrin. Have you made any progress?"

"Yes. I just tore apart the gravitational subroutine and reprogrammed it, and I've increased the efficiency by .02 percent. I think that the first three levels might run within acceptable limits now."

He sat next to her. "That is very promising."

"I hope I'm right. Would you mind taking a look at what I've done before I run it? I'm a little concerned about this part." She tapped her finger on the screen. "I've checked it and double-checked it, but something still doesn't look right. I can't decide what it is."

He leaned closer, and after a moment he said, "Trace your use of the acceleration variables. I believe that you will find an error."

She frowned, clearly surprised to learn that she had made an error, then quickly called up the trace debugger and began stepping through her equations. Although he carefully maintained a neutral expression, he was inwardly amused. Her reaction was so typical of this young human. Since the day he had first met her, she had displayed an odd mixture of confidence-one could even say arrogance-and insecurity. Of course, he recognized this as a manifestation of her immaturity, yet she always behaved with such composure and self-possession that the insecurity often surprised him when it surfaced.

Finally, she said, "There it is. I didn't increment the d-variable after the first iteration, and it would have gone into an infinite loop. Thank you. Give me a moment, and I'll take care of it."

"Very good."

He sat back in his chair while she corrected her mistake.

...

The next morning, Uhura peered out the front window before checking her wristchrono again. Where were they? She didn't have to meet any schedules today, but Spock would have to leave for the Academy soon, and he was growing anxious about being late.

She looked over to see him sitting sedately on the sofa with a padd in his hands. He might not look anxious, but she knew that he was. Or maybe she was. Well, she definitely was. How could he be so calm?

"Spock, I don't know what's keeping them."

"They will arrive soon."

"But what if you have to leave before they get here?"

"That will not happen."

"It might." She looked at her chrono again. "It's already eight minutes past the time you usually leave."

"Relax, Nyota."

"How can I relax? Derek's so busy that we haven't seen him for months. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. Aren't you?"

"Excited? It will please me to see him, but 'excited' is an emotionally charged word."

He lowered the padd slightly, and she noticed that it showed the same page he'd keyed up fifteen minutes ago. She made sure he could tell that she saw it.

"Yeah, right," she smirked.

He pointed toward the front window. "You are too busy worrying about me to observe that they are here."

"Oh!" She turned quickly toward the window just as Saavik waved. "They're here! Spock!"

She had the door open before they had reached the front step, and she could feel Spock's presence at her shoulder. Saavik looked so beautiful! Uhura marveled at the fact that Saavik managed to grow prettier every time they saw her. Michael was handsome, as always. He had a little more gray in his hair and he might have put on a few pounds around the middle, but he looked every bit the distinguished doctor that he was. And there came Derek, lagging behind with his hands in his pockets. He was going to be every bit as handsome as his parents, with his father's dark coloring and tall build, and his mother's striking, well-defined features.

"Come in, come in!" she cried.

She grabbed Saavik in a quick hug and gave Michael a kiss on the cheek. She made a grab for Derek, but he adroitly avoided her grasp. She didn't know whether to be amused or sad, since it was clear that her cuddly little boy was gone for good. Sure, he'd come back around someday, since there had been a time when Saavik wouldn't accept a hug, either, but he'd be all grown up by then.

"Did you have an uneventful trip?" asked Spock.

"Except for a slight inconvenience this morning, it was quite smooth," replied Saavik.

"What happened this morning?" asked Uhura.

Saavik glanced at Derek, who avoided her eyes. "We had a layover last night at Miran Two, and we were late to the shuttleport this morning. Fortunately there was another flight soon after the one we had originally booked. Other than that, the trip was quite easy. Sol Shuttlelines has begun using the new M480 shuttles, and the trip from Earth to Vulcan is much faster than it used to be."

"That's good to hear," said Uhura. "Maybe you can come visit us more often now."

"Saavik, I think that might have been a hint." Michael grinned and placed a suitcase to the side. "I want to tell you two again how appreciative we are. It's been much too long since Saavik and I have been away together."

"It's our pleasure, Michael," said Uhura. "We'll have a great time. Won't we, Derek?"

Derek grunted and shrugged.

"Derek, answer Nyota properly," admonished Saavik.

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled.

"That's okay, Saavik," said Uhura. "I knew what he meant. Derek, why don't you take your suitcase on back to your room, then maybe you can find something on the tri-vee or a computer game while Spock and I have a cup of coffee or tea with your parents."

Uhura winked at Derek, and she was pleased to see gratitude in his eyes as he made his escape. Before she could ask what everyone wanted, though, Spock retrieved his padd and slipped it into his pocket.

"Unfortunately, I must take my leave of you. I am already overdue at school. I hope that you will forgive me for leaving so soon."

Saavik sighed loudly. "There is no need to apologize. It is not your fault that we did not arrive when originally scheduled."

Michael looked over his shoulder to ensure that Derek was gone. "We couldn't get Derek out of the hotel this morning," he said in a low voice.

Obviously less concerned about being overheard, Saavik threw both hands in the air. "He was in the shower for twenty-three minutes! It took him another ten minutes to comb his hair to his satisfaction, and just as we were rushing out the door we saw that he had left yesterday's clothes behind the bathroom door. I do not understand my son. I think that he is an alien species."

Uhura chuckled. "He's a teenager. They don't get much more alien than that."

"Indeed." Spock regarded Saavik. "I believe that I remember another young teenager who did not want to go to school because, and I quote, 'a monkey would refuse to wear that shirt.'"

"Does your memory extend to how awful that shirt was?"

Uhura interceded before it could turn into an argument. Patting him on the arm, she said, "I'm afraid that I have to side with Saavik on this one. And now, you need to be going. We don't want you to be late."

"As much as I would prefer to remain and debate the matter, you are correct. I must go." He raised his hand, palm out, for what Uhura considered the Vulcan version of a hug, and Saavik briefly pressed her hand to his. "Enjoy your trip, Saavikam. Do not be concerned about Derek. He will be fine with us."

"I know," she said. "Thank you, Spock."

Spock exchanged a farewell nod with Michael, who said, "We'll see you in five days. I hope we'll have more time to visit then."

"I will ensure that we do."

Uhura waved when he walked past the window, then turned to the others. "I want to hear about your plans, but first, who wants coffee and who wants tea?"

...

Perched on the edge of the sofa, Nyota glumly rested her cheek on her fist and stared at the wall. An array of beeps, crunching noises, and bad music could be heard coming from the office computer. Spock, also on the sofa, was attempting to read, but when she sighed heavily for the twelfth time in ten point four minutes, he finally lowered his book and turned to her.

"Perhaps if you tuned the tri-vee to something suited to a boy his age, he would join us."

"I asked him if he wanted to watch anything, but all he was interested in was something called 'Beaches of Betazed.'"

"Perhaps we could watch that, then. I find travel shows agreeable."

"Me, too, but I'm not sure that this is a travel show. He told me a little bit about it, and it didn't sound very good."

"Then we will see what else is available. Computer, activate tri-vee." A recessed panel in the wall brightened. "Recite current choices for an audience consisting of an adolescent Terran/Vulcan male, an adult Terran female, and an adult Vulcan male."

"You were a bit selective with your descriptions," said Nyota, clearly referring to Spock's human and Derek's Romulan heritage.

"I assure you that I do not wish to watch anything targeted to an adult human male, and none of us want to see the Romulan choices."

"Good point."

"Working," the computer responded. "Current choices within stated parameters are 'The Sehlat and his Prey,, 'Historic Homes on Delta,' 'Emergency Exomedicine,' 'The Smithsonian: A Retrospective,' 'Alpine Hoverboarding,' 'Cooking With Sevek,' and 'The Music of T'Pael.'"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "That is a rather short list."

"I'd say that the marketing experts completely missed the Vulcan and human adult and adolescent target audience. Imagine that." Nyota addressed the computer. "Computer, synopsis of 'Beaches of Betazed.'"

"This week's episode: Danger in the Waves," replied the computer. "The head lifeguard Lwaziana must make a life-or-death decision between preserving an endangered Great White Snidit and protecting her friend Lon. What she does not know is that her rival Doxia has genetically enhanced the Snidit and-"

"Computer, stop." She looked over at Spock. "This doesn't sound so bad. It's probably educational, since it touches on genetics, Betazoid marine biology, lifesaving, even ethical dilemmas."

"Put that way, perhaps you are correct. Very well. Computer, load 'Beaches of Betazed' and begin upon our signal."

"Hey, Derek!" called out Nyota. "Why don't you come in here with us? We're getting ready to watch 'Beaches of Betazed.'"

The noises in the office stopped, and they heard his heavy footsteps in the hall. He leaned into the doorway. "Seriously?"

"Yes," replied Spock.

A broad smile spread across his face. "Superb."

"Here. You can sit between us." Uhura slid over to make room for him, and when he was comfortable, she said, "Computer, begin."

The music swelled, and Spock was actually impressed with the effective combination of Terran strings and Betazoid chimes that accompanied a well-framed shot of a beach. Judging by the size of the waves and the flora, this would appear to be the western shore of the Green Sea, one of Betazed's best-known locations. The holocam panned to the water, and Spock placed his book to the side and relaxed. This was actually quite enjoyable. He leaned forward slightly and caught Nyota's eye, and she smiled and nodded. He turned back to the screen.

The holocam continued to move until the beach could be seen from the opposite direction, and suddenly, four scantily clad young Betazoids ran into the frame. There were three men and one woman, and because they had been filmed in slow motion, the woman's excessively large breasts seemed to float up each time her feet left the ground, then sink down when she hit the sand. Up, down, up, down. Her hair, also large, moved in tandem with her breasts.

"Ah, Nyota..." He looked over to see a fixed grin on her face.

"This is so superb," exclaimed Derek. "That's Lwaziana. She's my favorite. She's the head lifeguard, and she sizzles. Watch-she's going to dive into the water and save that little boy."

"Have you already seen this?" Nyota asked hopefully.

He gave her a look that expressed his opinion of her lack of knowledge. "These are just the opening credits. The show itself hasn't even started yet."

"Oh," she said.

"There she goes! SPLASH! I love this part."

Sure enough, Lwaziana splashed head-first into a wave, and when she came up, her swimsuit had adhered itself even more closely to her skin.

"Derek, do your parents allow you to watch this?" asked Spock.

"_Everybody_ watches 'Beaches of Betazed.'"

Spock met Nyota's eyes again, and she nodded regretfully, so he picked up his book. Before he could begin reading, Nyota spoke up.

"Computer. Pause program."

"Hey-"

She held up a hand to forestall Derek's objection. "I'll make a deal with you. We'll watch this tonight, but tomorrow Spock and I get to pick what we do. What do you think?"

He looked at her suspiciously. "You won't make me go to the museum, will you?"

"You used to love the museum!"

"When I was five years old."

"All right. I'll try to think of something we'd all like. Maybe we can do something during the afternoon and go get dinner afterward. Spock, do you think that you could take off a little early?"

"Not tomorrow, but I could the next day."

"That works for me," she said. "Derek?"

"I guess."

"Deal. Computer, resume play."

End chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Utoto, chapter 2

Seated at the kitchen table, Uhura sipped her tea and idly flipped through the day's news. She'd already seen the main articles, and she'd even returned to the computer in the study twice to reload her padd, but there wasn't anything worth her attention. This was her third cup of tea, too. Pretty soon it would be time to think about lunch.

She looked up at a thump to see Derek stumble into the kitchen, barefoot and rubbing his face. His hair was smashed on one side, and he had a big sheet scar running down his cheek.

"Well," she said with a smile. "Good morning. Or maybe I should say good afternoon."

Derek mumbled something and leaned into the stasis cooler. When he closed the door, she saw that he was drinking right out of the milk container. She tried her best not to react.

"How about some breakfast?" she asked.

"Okay."

"We have Chocopuffs. Hang on, and I'll get you a bowl. I see that you already found the milk."

He wrinkled his nose. "Those are nasty."

"What? The Chocopuffs? Your mother said that you love them."

"No." He rolled his eyes. "I don't. They're for children."

"Huh. Then I guess that Spock and I will have to eat them. You need a man's breakfast. How about bacon and eggs?"

"Mom said that I couldn't have any meat this week."

She waggled her eyebrows. "Well, this isn't something I'd offer if Spock was around, but it'll be our secret. Sound good?"

"Sure."

She walked over to the synthesizer and started to punch in the code, but she stopped at a noise from Derek. She turned to see that he had wrinkled his nose again.

"You're not going to, uh, synthesize it out of soy protein or anything, are you?"

She put her hands on her hips. "You don't think that I just happen to have real bacon lying around, do you? This is just as good. You won't even notice the difference."

"Yeah, right! Mom made me eat a soy chop last week, and I almost chucked. It was nasty. I didn't think that _you _would make me eat something like that."

She gritted her teeth, took a deep breath, and forcibly relaxed her shoulders. "All right. Then maybe you could tell me what you'd like, and I'll let you know if we have it."

He shrugged. "I guess I'll eat some Chocopuffs. Is there a prize in the box?'

She had to smile as she opened the cabinet for a bowl. Maybe he wasn't quite so grown up, after all. She found that she liked that thought.

...

There. Done.

Satisfied that he was now sufficiently prepared to leave early tomorrow afternoon, Spock shut down his computer and walked toward his office door.

"Computer. Lights off."

The door closed behind him, and his footsteps echoed as he headed for the stairs. Before he reached the end of the hall, he noticed that the lights were on in the computer lab.

He paused in the open doorway and saw that Perrin was there. Although she had asked him if he would work with her this evening, he had informed her that he had work of his own to complete. He had assumed that she would finish for the evening before he did, especially considering how late she had worked last night. She appeared to be deeply involved in her simulations, however. He entered the room.

She looked up and nodded, clearly already aware of his presence. This did not surprise him, for he had learned that she seemed to always know when he had arrived before he announced himself. She was evidently able to remain focused on her work while retaining an awareness of her surroundings. This was quite a rare ability in humans, and it would serve her well in the future.

"Hello, Spock," she said. "Thanks for stopping. I think you'll be pleased when you see what I've done."

"Indeed?"

"Yes," she replied. "I've modified the first set of equations and run a trial up to stage two. Something goes wrong right after that, though, and I'm stumped."

"Do you require my assistance?"

"Yes, please. I think it's related to the y factor, but I haven't pinned it down yet."

She started to rise, but Spock motioned her back into her seat and stood behind her. He did not require access to the computer, for he had no intention of actually giving her the answer. Perhaps he could guide her toward finding the answer on her own, assuming of course that he could find the error. Her work was so advanced that sometimes he seemed more a collaborator than a teacher.

Ah, there.

Leaning over her shoulder, he pointed at the screen. "Perhaps you should consider-"

"Oh, yes! I see it now. How careless of me."

"These are extremely difficult computations, and I am confident that you would have found the problem soon. Indeed, I did no more than draw your attention to the equation in error, and you solved it yourself."

She smiled up at him. "You're too modest. I've been looking at this all evening, and you walked in and knew immediately where I'd gone wrong. I have much to learn from you. You're such a good teacher."

"I am flattered, but you must remember that a teacher is nothing without a good student."

Her cheeks flushed. "Thank you, Spock. That's a wonderful thing to hear."

Moving another chair to her table, he nodded toward the screen in an attempt to bring their discussion back to the work at hand. "Could you run the first stage for me? I am curious to see the results."

"I'd be glad to."

He nodded in satisfaction as her computations scrolled across the screen.

...

An hour later, Spock entered the house through the back door and noted that a place was set at the table for only one person. That was good. Last night when he had returned home, he had thought at first that Derek was excited to see him. It was only when he had been all but run down in Derek's haste to reach the table that he had realized Derek was merely glad that he would finally be allowed to eat. And yesterday he, Spock, had not even been late. He would not wish to see Derek's reaction if they had waited for him tonight.

"Greetings," he called out.

"Hi," replied Nyota. "We're in here watching tri-vee."

He walked through the kitchen and joined them in the main living area. "Good evening, Derek. How was your day?"

Derek shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow at the improbability of that statement, but chose not to comment on it. Instead, he asked, "What are you watching?"

"Nothing."

He looked helplessly at Nyota, so she jumped into the conversation. "Derek, tell Spock where we went today."

Derek mumbled something, but even with his acute sense of hearing, Spock could not discern what it was. This was partially due to the fact that Derek was slouched down on the sofa with the heavy collar of his shirt obscuring his mouth, but he thought that he probably would not have been able to understand, regardless.

"Derek," he said patiently. "Unless you are speaking a language with which I am not familiar, I would suggest that you sit up straight and repeat yourself. I did not understand a word you said."

To his credit, Derek sheepishly repositioned himself on the sofa and said, "Sorry. I said that we went to the market at the Old Town."

"Tell him what we did," prompted Nyota.

"We walked and saw a bunch of stuff. Most of it was pretty boring, but we got some ice cream. Oh yeah, and we watched some Deltan girl do a dance in the park."

Nyota smiled. "Derek liked that part."

"No doubt," replied Spock.

"She could bend backwards and do the splits and all kinds of things. Nyota gave me some coins to throw in a box she had at the edge of the stage, and I saw that she'd made a lot of money. That would be a cool job. You wouldn't even have to go to school to learn how to do something like that."

"Before you start making career plans," said Nyota, "I think you'd better remember that only a Deltan could bend her body that way." Derek snickered, so she hastily added, "And that is _not_ what I meant."

"I'm going to tell my mom you said that."

She pretended to smack his arm. "Don't you dare."

Deciding that it was time to change the subject, Spock said, "Nyota, I see that you have left something on the cooktop. Is that for me?"

"Oh, yes. It's potato soup. There are chives in the stasis unit, and-"

"I'm hungry," announced Derek.

Nyota's mouth fell open. "How could you be hungry after all you ate? Well, come on." She rose. "I'll take up a bowl for you."

"I don't want any more soup."

"Okay. We have some fruit in stasis. Help yourself to whatever looks good."

Spock sat down at the table with his soup. He could hear Derek rummaging around in the kitchen as Nyota took a seat across from him.

"Are you going to be able to leave work early tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yes. I was able to accomplish a great deal this evening. I must apologize that I am even tardier than anticipated, however. I stopped in the lab on my way out."

"I hope your students appreciate all the extra time you put in."

"They do. One of them just commented that-"

Spock stopped talking when Derek reappeared in the doorway. "There's nothing to eat," he said sullenly.

"That's not so." Nyota left the table and motioned Derek into the kitchen. "You just didn't look hard enough."

Spock ate his soup while he listened to Nyota's description of the benefits of fresh produce, and Derek's rebuttal that potato chips would be much better.

...

Uhura fell into bed beside Spock. "What a day! I'm exhausted."

"I do not see how that could be possible. After all, you did nothing all day long."

She chuckled. "I'm beginning to think that Saavik was right. Our sweet little boy has been replaced by a member of an alien race."

"What race would that be?"

"Teenager."

"Ah. Yes. I must agree. He has grown quite uncooperative. Perhaps I should speak with him about his behavior."

"No, no. That'll only make things worse. He's just in that awkward stage of life where he's trying to put his childhood behind him but he hasn't learned yet what it means to be an adult. Hormones are going crazy, and we're just as inscrutable to him as he is to us. Besides, I have some ideas about how to handle him."

"Would they involve a whip and a chair?"

"Only if we run out of food." She turned off the light, then leaned over and kissed him. "Good night, Spock."

"Good night."

As she closed her eyes, she heard the faint sound of a computer game from the office, and she resolved that tomorrow, both the tri-vee and the computer would remain off all day long.

End chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Utoto, Chapter 3

The next morning, Uhura had banged around in the kitchen until Derek finally crawled out of bed. He hadn't been very happy to be awakened, but she didn't care. Granted, he needed his sleep, but maybe if she tired him out during the day he'd be less likely to keep her awake at night. She'd given him a big bowl of Chocopuffs, insisted that cola was not considered a breakfast drink, and waited while he lingered in the shower and finally got dressed.

Now, they were ready to begin their day. And it wasn't even noon yet. This definitely counted as progress.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked brightly.

He shrugged and flopped onto the sofa. "I don't know."

"How about the museum? There's a new exhibit I've been wanting to see."

"You promised you wouldn't make me go there."

"It was just a suggestion." She thought for a moment. "How about some music? I could pull up a list of the places around town that have midday recitals."

He looked at her like she was out of her mind.

"Okay. No music," she said. "Let's go back to the Old Town. Something's always happening there."

"We went there yesterday."

"Then let's just get in the flitter and see what we can find. Maybe we'll fly over the desert and look for le-matyas. You used to love to do that."

He yawned.

"C'mon, Derek, help me out. Is there anything you'd like to do? Shopping? Sight-seeing? Anything at all?"

"Not really," he replied. "I want to stay home."

"Okay. Then we'll stay home. And here's what we're going to do. Get up."

"Huh?"

She made a fist and pointed her thumb upwards. "Get up."

He grudgingly came to his feet. "Why?"

"Because I need your help. I've been thinking for a long time that I want to rearrange this room, but I've never gotten around to it. This is the perfect opportunity! I have the day off, and you have the muscles. What else do we need?"

"Er," he tilted his head and squinted. "Uh..."

"Right! Nothing. So let's begin by moving the sofa over there. You grab that arm and drag, and I'll get this one and steer." She waited. "Come on! Spock will be home early today. Let's surprise him."

"Don't you have any antigrav clamps?"

"Who needs antigrav clamps when you've got muscles?"

He hesitated a moment longer, but finally he grabbed the arm of the sofa and pulled. She hid a little smile of triumph when she joined him.

...

Spock heard Nyota's voice as soon as he walked in the door.

"No, not there," she said. "No... no... There! Perfect. Now let's put this next to it."

He then heard the sound of something being dragged, followed by several bumping noises. Holding the package he'd just purchased behind his back, he walked quietly through the kitchen and peered around the corner, and he raised an eyebrow at the disarray that met him.

"Oh, hi, Spock!" Her sleeves pushed up, Nyota smiled from behind the chair she was holding. "I didn't hear you come in."

"What are you doing?"

"Rearranging," she replied. "I had really hoped to be done before you got home."

Derek stood next to a small table. "Nyota says that this table should go in the corner, but I think it looks better under the window. What do you think?"

Nyota gave Spock a quick nod, so he said, "Under the window."

"Told you so."

"So you did," said Nyota. "Maybe I ought to invite you over every time I redecorate."

"This is fun. But don't tell anyone I said that."

"Your secret is safe with me. So, Spock, do you have any plans, or would you like to tackle the study?"

"As tempting as that is, I do have plans for us." He addressed Derek. "The ch'ra masters are demonstrating their skills today at the ShiKahr Center for the Physical Arts. I thought that the three of us might attend their exhibition."

As expected, Derek's eyes grew large at the prospect of attending the match. He had admired the ch'ra wrestlers since he was a babe in his father's arms, even going so far one day as to don Nyota's short bathrobe and imitate their highly ritualized moves. He had begged his parents to allow him to learn this most ancient and respected form of Vulcan self-defense, but it was tradition that ch'ra was taught only when one reached the onset of maturity, a rite of passage that marked a milestone in every young person's life.

"And afterward, perhaps you would like to use this." He opened the package and pulled out the ch'ra robe inside.

"For me?" Derek's voice broke on the word 'me.'

"Yes. It is time that I taught you the basics of the discipline. I reserved a practice room, and we will begin this evening."

Derek accepted the robe with the proper degree of reverence. "I... I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"It is my honor. You are a young man now, and I will be pleased for you to learn more about your Vulcan heritage."

"Can I go try it on?"

"Of course."

As Derek dashed back to his room, Spock was astonished to notice that Nyota appeared to be on the verge of tears.

She moved close and placed her hands on his chest. "That's the most wonderful gift you could have given him."

"I must confess that it is no less a gift for me than it is for him."

"I know."

"Why did you not use the antigrav clamps to move the furniture?"

"Who needs antigrav clamps when you've got muscles?"

Before he could answer, she slid her hands upward and pulled his head down for a kiss. He had hardly done more than press his lips to hers, though, when he heard Derek bound out of his room. They quickly straightened, and soon they were admiring the way the ch'ra robe suited their rapidly maturing young man.

...

"Spock! Wait!"

The next afternoon, Spock halted just as he started down the walkway that would take him to the administration building, and he turned to see who had hailed him. It was Perrin. He waited while she skirted the sculpture of Surak enlightening the children and hurried to meet him.

"Yes?" he said.

"Sorry," she panted. "I know that you're on your way somewhere, but I saw you crossing campus, and I wanted to speak to you before you left for the day."

"Very well. I am due in a faculty meeting, but perhaps you could walk with me. What do you require?"

She fell into step beside him. "I'm still not satisfied with the gravitational subroutine, and I have some ideas about how I could improve it. Would you mind discussing them with me?"

"Of course not. Come to my office tomorrow during my planning period-"

"Actually, I was hoping we could do it tonight. I'm on my way to the lab now. Maybe you could come by after your meeting."

He permitted himself a small sigh. To the best of his knowledge, this would be the sixth evening in a row she had devoted to her project, and he assumed that there had been other evenings of which he was unaware. Her dedication was admirable, but he wondered if it might be better if she occasionally indulged in the recreational pursuits typical to someone her age. He had seen too many young humans lose interest in their studies due to that Terran phenomenon known as 'burn out.' It would certainly be within his responsibilities as her instructor to ensure that it did not happen to her.

"I am pleased with your effort on this project," he said, "but perhaps it would be beneficial if you did not work on it every night. Do you have any friends? An interest that you have been neglecting?"

She frowned, and at first he thought that she did not understand what he had meant. Before he could rephrase his comments, she said, "This _is_ my interest. And I certainly didn't come to graduate school to make friends."

"Perhaps you should amend your objectives. Your time here could enhance your life experience."

"I don't want to be distracted from my studies."

"Life is about more than studies. One should always strive to be a well-rounded individual."

She crossed her arms. "When you were a student, did you waste your time on frivolous activities?"

He raised an eyebrow, for he saw very clearly the trap she had laid. "I did not," he said.

She opened her mouth, ready to pounce, but he spoke before she could.

"But in retrospect," he continued, "I see that I illogically wasted a tremendous opportunity. When I went to Earth to study at Starfleet Academy, I was not a stranger in a strange land as you are here. However, I did miss the opportunity to become better acquainted with the people, the history, and the geography of Earth. Even the most apparently frivolous activity could have been a learning experience for me."

"With all due respect, I doubt that you would have learned much by going to drinking parties and sporting events. Those are the frivolous activities I associate with the typical human student."

"I speak of human activities within reason, of course." He took a step closer and pitched his voice so that his words would seem less like a lecture and more like friendly advice. "You are in a new place, Perrin. You will learn a great deal in the classroom, but there is also much to learn outside the classroom. Sample new cuisine and visit new places. Open yourself to new experiences. Find pleasure in day-to-day living. Make connections with other beings."

He had thought that she was taking his words to heart, but her face suddenly became closed. She looked away.

"It's not easy, you know," she mumbled.

He hesitated, aware that he would be late to his meeting if he remained here another moment, but he decided that he could not turn away from the unhappiness in her voice.

"Forgive me," he said, "but I do not understand. I realize that your studies are not easy, but I believe that you are more than capable of meeting the challenge. Therefore, I do not comprehend your distress."

"It's not my schoolwork," she said, studying her feet. "It's the personal part. Making friends, and all that. That's what's hard."

Perhaps he _should_ have continued to his meeting after all. He had no choice but to proceed with this conversation, however. He interlaced his fingers awkwardly before realizing that he was close to fidgeting. He clasped his hands behind his back instead.

"I see. You are an, ah, engaging person, with diverse interests," he said. "Others would enjoy your company. Perhaps you are mistaken."

"Oh, no, I'm not. Sometimes other people my age seem so silly. I don't relate to them. You don't know what it's like to be an outsider."

He allowed amusement to creep into his tone. "You should not be so certain of that."

Obviously unaware of his irony, she continued. "I did meet someone in England, and... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. It's too private."

"Of course." Detecting his opportunity to escape, he stepped back. "I did not mean to pry. Now, if you will excuse me-"

"It's just that I trusted him. I even thought that I had a future with him. I changed my plans to accommodate him. We were so good together."

Spock did not know how to respond to the divulgence of such painfully personal details. He cast a hopeful glance toward the administration building, but she did not notice.

"But then he hurt me," she whispered. "After all his sweet promises, he discarded me like I had a contagious disease. I was such a fool to believe him. After that, I vowed that I would rededicate myself to my studies, and I would never let anything or anyone distract me again."

She finally stopped talking and looked up at Spock.

He cleared his throat. "I understand. My condolences. If you wish for me to work with you tonight, I will do so."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me."

He nodded acknowledgment of her gratitude. "I will join you in approximately one point three standard hours."

She waved as she backed away. "See you then!"

He nodded again and continued toward his meeting. Perhaps if he hurried, he would miss no more than the opening announcements.

...

He entered the lab to find Perrin deeply engrossed in her work as always.

"Greetings, Perrin."

"Hi, Spock." She smiled brilliantly. "Thanks for coming."

"You are welcome. I had thought that you were pleased with the gravitational subroutine, so I am curious about your reasons for dissatisfaction."

"It's probably adequate as it is, but adequate isn't good enough."

"That is an admirable sentiment."

"I know that you wouldn't settle for less, either. Here." She patted the chair next to her. "Please sit down, and I'll show you what I have so far."

"Very well."

When he seated himself, his arm accidentally brushed hers, so he resituated himself to allow some room between them.

"Computer," she said, "edit gravitational subroutine."

He steepled his hands on the edge of the table as he studied her logic.

...

An hour later, Perrin stood at the window and watched as Spock walked across the parking area toward his flitter. The sun was right at the horizon, and his shadow seemed to stretch forever. He climbed into the flitter, and she caught one last glimpse of his face before he flew away.

She ran her fingertips over the spot where he had touched her arm earlier. When she could no longer see the flitter, she turned back to the computer and shut it down.

She left the building and walked slowly to the shuttle stop. The humans she knew complained like little children whenever they were outdoors, but not her. She had come to love everything about this environment-the way the sun tinted things slightly red, the dusty smell when she inhaled, the brave little plants that insisted they could eke out an existence when common sense said that nothing could grow. She didn't even mind the heat of midday anymore, although she was careful not to relax her vigilant skin care routine.

And this time of day was the best of all.

The street illumination was just coming on as she boarded her shuttle. She nodded politely at a young Vulcan woman and sat next to her, content in the assumption that the woman would not demand conversation. The people here were so much more dignified than the people on Earth. If she had sat next to a Terran woman, she would have been forced to discuss the weather, current events, where she bought her clothes, or no telling what. It was much better this way. The Vulcans had the right idea.

She leaned back and gazed dreamily out the window as she thought about tomorrow. Maybe she would rise earlier than usual and drop by the computer lab on her way to class. Spock probably wouldn't be there yet, but it was always a possibility. Or maybe she'd run into him in the hall outside his office. If not, she'd go ahead to class and work quietly while she waited for him to arrive.

She always loved it when he first walked into the room. He would meet her eyes briefly before sitting at his desk, and when the chrono displayed the hour and not a moment before, he would rise and begin. He was a very calm speaker, rarely raising his voice above a conversational tone and only occasionally gesturing or pacing, but he always captivated his students. There didn't seem to be anything he didn't know, and he had an innate ability to lighten his lectures with a touch of dry wit every now and then. Not all of the students understood that he had a delightful sense of humor, but she did. She'd never appreciated a teacher more.

He obviously appreciated her as a student, too. She might even be willing to say that he enjoyed her company as a person.

She disembarked when the shuttle stopped near her apartment, and she walked leisurely toward her building with her eyes on the sky. It was nearly dark now, and she could see a few bright pinpoints of light beginning to glimmer despite the muted glow of the streetlights. This time of year T'Kuht rose during the daytime, and she knew that the stars would be glorious tonight if she got away from the lights of the city. Maybe someday she would do just that. Wouldn't it be wonderful to gaze at the stars with someone who could tell her all about this sky?

She entered her building, then stepped into the lift and told it which floor she wanted. It did as requested, and she hurried down the hallway before Mr. Robbins could hear her footsteps outside his door. He was a nice enough man, but he was old and needy. She would rather not stop to chat with him. His ramblings about his dead wife tended to be much too depressing, and she didn't feel like being depressed tonight.

Palming the lock, she entered her apartment. A quick glance at the computer told her she had no messages, so she headed toward the kitchen. She was famished. She paused momentarily at the hall mirror to check her hair-good, it had held its body all day despite the dry heat-but just as she started to move away, she looked down at the small table to see her holo of Geoffrey.

She had always loved this holo.

Picking it up, she remembered the day it was taken. His face had been flushed with excitement, and she recalled how he had waved at the press from the balcony of his townhouse when he learned that he had secured his party's nomination. He had been so happy that day. _They_ had been so happy that day.

She opened the drawer, placed the holo in it face-down, and closed it again.

End chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Utoto, chapter 4

"Oh, wow. Last night was superb. I liked that k'len move the best." Derek put down his spoon and mimicked the motion. "I can't wait to show everybody back on Earth."

Seated at the breakfast table, Spock listened as Derek rhapsodized about their ch'ra session of the night before. He had been concerned that the boy's interest might wane, but if anything, he had become even more enthusiastic after their second practice session.

Nyota helped herself to a serving of fruit. "You'll have to be careful you don't hurt them. You were really strong on some of those moves."

Derek grinned. "Yeah, I was, wasn't I?"

"Indeed you were," said Spock. "I was impressed by how quickly you learned. You must remember, though, that ch'ra is a serious discipline. It exercises the mind as well as the body, and one must approach it with the appropriate amount of gravity."

"Yeah, believe me, I felt the gravity. On my butt."

Spock frowned. "Derek, that is not-"

Derek laughed. "I'm just kidding! I know that it's important, and I know what it means to you. It means a lot to me, too. I'll be serious about it. No more jokes or games, I swear. I'll work hard at it, and I'll be really good. You'll see."

"Very well. With the proper attitude, I have no doubt that you will be good. You have already displayed great promise."

"So," said Nyota, "what are we going to do today? It's your last day. We need to make it special."

"Can we go back to the gym later?"

"I was planning on it," replied Spock. "I will ensure that I come home from work promptly."

"Great." Derek took a bite of cereal and chewed thoughtfully. "I think that I'd like to go to the museum today. Is that okay with you, Nyota?"

Her smile expressed surprised delight. "Why, of course! I'd love to do that."

"First can I finish my game? I was just getting to the good part, when the zombies come out and capture all the Klingons."

"Sure," she said. "I have a few things I need to do around the house. We'll go later."

Rising, Spock picked up his dishes and started toward the kitchen. "I must leave now. Enjoy your day at the museum. I will see you both this afternoon."

They said their farewells, and the last thing he heard before walking out the door was a discussion of what was new at the museum.

...

Situated in her customary seat in the center of the front row, Perrin looked up at Spock as he stood before the class. She had not managed to catch him in the lab this morning, but he had happened to enter the classroom early to find her already here. He had commented on her dedication, and he had even asked if she was well. She had been delighted at his interest in her personal well being, and when she had asked how he was today, she thought that he had replied with extra warmth. Clearly he was pleased that she would care.

She brought her attention back to the moment when she realized that he was ending his lecture for today. She remained seated while he summarized the day's assignment, reminded the students that their projects should be well underway, and dismissed the class. He returned to his desk, and when the room had emptied, she approached.

"Spock, I'm thinking about starting stage three. I know that I'm not quite finished with stage two, but I'm eager to move forward. Here are my ideas."

She gave her padd to him, and he studied it for a moment before nodding and handing it back. "This is promising. I am uncertain about your use of the transdimensional coefficient in the first equation, however. It could skew your later results."

She pursed her lips as she looked for her error. "Sorry, but I don't see it. Maybe we can work on it this evening."

"Computer, off." He rose. "I do not wish to inconvenience you, but I am unable to work with you tonight. I promised my wife that I would spend the evening at home."

She frowned. "Your wife?"

He was already collecting his teaching materials. "You are a gifted research analyst, Perrin, and I believe that you do not need me as much as you think you do. Look closely at the first equation. If you still have not solved the problem tomorrow, I will assist you then."

He met her eyes for a long moment, and when she did not reply, he nodded. "I will speak with you tomorrow. Good day."

Perrin nodded back, so he left the room. She remained rooted to her spot, gazing at the empty doorway without really seeing it.

A wife. He was married.

She wandered slowly from the room and headed for the stairs. She heard someone say "Sorry" as she descended, but it only vaguely registered that a human in a hurry had accidentally jostled her.

When she was outside on the walkway, she stopped and blinked, trying to adapt to the brightness of the light. Her next class was straight ahead, but instead of going in that direction, she turned toward the shuttle stop.

She wanted to go home.

...

By the time Perrin walked through her front door, she had managed to put things into perspective. It had been such a shock to learn that he was married, but really, could she be faulted for assuming that he was unattached? He had been in the lab with her nearly every evening for the past week, and even before that, she would see him working late in his office or in the lab, sometimes with other students, sometimes by himself.

It was obvious that he didn't have much of a home life. His wife evidently didn't care if he was there or not. And he'd said it himself-he was only staying home this evening because he'd promised. Maybe he didn't even want to stay at home. She was probably making him.

Plus, she, Perrin, knew. She knew. She was a woman, and she knew in the way a woman knows that he admired her. She was an outstanding student, gifted at research. Outstanding and gifted. Those were his words.

She went straight to her computer.

"Computer. Biographical search, Spock of Vulcan."

The screen displayed a list of items with short descriptions, as well as a message indicating that there were many more not shown.

"Computer. Scroll slowly through list."

She watched as each item moved leisurely toward the top of the screen and vanished. Vulcan Science Academy, Vulcan Science Academy, Starfleet, Starfleet, Starfleet... Many Starfleet entries. There was a very old one about a breakthrough he had made in warp theory in Buenos Aires. Interesting. She hadn't realized that he'd worked as a research scientist on Earth. As a matter of fact, it seemed that almost every one of these entries mentioned humans or Earth. She wouldn't have expected him to have such strong ties to Earth. She also hadn't expected him to be so prominent. She felt goosebumps ripple down her arms.

She'd have to make sure she came back to some of these later, but right now she had something more specific in mind.

"Computer. Narrow search to include keyword 'wife.'"

There. The list was now much smaller. Very good.

She expanded the first item, and she was disappointed to see an image of a much older Vulcan man with a human woman. As she read the article, however, she realized that it was here because this was Spock's father... and his wife. Extraordinary! Spock's mother was human. He was half human! She congratulated herself on her astuteness, for hadn't she always known that there was something different about him? Maybe this explained the ties to Earth, too.

Returning to the list, she saw a promising entry. It appeared to be about some sort of diplomatic event involving Starfleet and Klingons. Maybe it would show Spock's wife. When she opened it, though, she found a picture of a group of humans holding up champagne glasses in the direction of a Klingon woman, and Spock simply stood near the side behind everyone. The search had hit the word 'wife' because there was a mention of an admiral's wife. Too bad. Spock did look good in his uniform, however. He was considerably younger, too. He was such a handsome man, both then and now. She closed this entry and studied the list again.

An obituary caught her eye. It was nearly thirty years old, but it was for a woman named Amanda Grayson, which Perrin recognized as Spock's mother. If anything was going to list all family members, this should be it.

And there she was, her name, anyway: Nyota Uhura. It sounded human, but Perrin couldn't be sure. She needed to know more about this woman.

"Computer. Biographical search, Nyota Uhura. Sort by relevance to Spock of Vulcan. Add secondary sort, ascending chronological sequence."

She raised both eyebrows when she saw the new list, for it was very similar to the old list. As a matter of fact, she recognized one entry right away, because it had been among the last entries she'd seen on her original search. This must be a mistake. Maybe she hadn't been specific enough with her request to the computer.

She selected the article, and when it opened, her screen was filled with the image of a sandy-haired man wearing a gold shirt surrounded by five humans and Spock. Spock was even younger in this one than before. The caption stated that this was the senior crew of the Enterprise. There was only one woman, and she was beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. She was one of those women who are too beautiful for their own good. Perrin already didn't like her.

Almost afraid to know the answer to her request, Perrin said, "Computer, what is the name of the human female shown in this image?"

"Nyota Uhura," replied the computer.

Her mouth slightly agape, she stared at the image. This was Spock's wife? But... This picture was taken over fifty years ago. It was a long shot, but maybe there was more than one Nyota Uhura. Maybe his wife was this woman's daughter.

"Computer. Show any pictures accompanying the items in this list. Cycle at three seconds."

A new picture came up on the screen, but this one had only Spock and the man in the gold shirt. The woman was not in it, so she must have just been mentioned in the text. The next one showed the woman. She was posed with a harp-Perrin felt something sink within her when she realized that it was a Vulcan harp-and the caption stated that the woman had won some sort of musical competition. Then there was a picture of the group again, then another picture of several members of the group, and more and more of the same.

Perrin sat back in her chair as image after image flashed across her screen. The sinking sensation in her chest only grew worse, because she finally could not deny that this woman had to be Spock's wife. They were growing old together right before her eyes. There they were wearing ugly pastel-colored uniforms. The woman's hairstyle was big and puffy, and Spock's expression was so severe it was almost frightening, but it was them. And there they were, now wearing burgundy-colored uniforms, and there they were again, with a group of young people who looked like students. As time progressed, they seemed to be directly next to each other more and more often. There was one of just the two of them at someone's funeral, they were so obviously a couple, he had his hand on her elbow, he was watching her-

Finally, she cried, "Computer, stop."

She covered her face. These were not images of someone who wasn't devoted to his wife. Instead, these were images of two people who had spent a lifetime together, two people who had shared remarkable experiences, two people who had a history. Who had a future.

She let her hands fall to her lap, and she stared at the picture from the funeral. The person who had died was named Montgomery Scott, and it was clear from the picture that he couldn't be closely related to either of them. Nyota Uhura looked so sad. Boo hoo.

Finally, Perrin said, "Computer. Current street address of Spock and Nyota Uhura."

She memorized the computer's response, then left her apartment.

...

Her heart pounding, Perrin tried to appear calm as she strolled down the sidewalk. She knew that Spock taught classes all afternoon, but it was still unnerving to think that he might catch her. What would she do if it happened? What would she tell him? Would she even have to say anything? Maybe he would understand. Maybe he'd even be flattered. It could be their little secret.

She glanced casually at each house that she passed, even though she knew that he lived just ahead. These houses were all so small, almost tackily so. This was a modest neighborhood, with nothing like the home she'd expected to find. Maybe she shouldn't be surprised, however.

Nyota Uhura had probably grown up in a cozy little house, and she had wanted one just like dear old Mom's. Perrin knew from the articles that Spock's family was prominent, and she also knew that his family must own a grand estate. Nyota Uhura obviously hadn't appreciated that. She hadn't taken her proper place in Vulcan society, and she'd dragged Spock down with her. Maybe the Vulcans hadn't wanted her. Or maybe she'd already run through his fortune, and they'd been forced to live like this. Poor Spock.

There. That was the house. Perrin forced herself to keep walking past it, but as soon as she was sure no one was watching, she hurried across the street and found a hidden spot behind a big piece of synthiwood that was leaning against another house. There wasn't a tree or big shrub to be seen, so she was fortunate that the neighbors were doing some renovations.

The house was quiet. She could see a sofa, stuffed chair, and coffee table through the large front window, and it all looked so Terran that she felt ill. How unfair! There was nothing of Spock's Vulcan heritage. Even the pitiful little shrubs out front were Terran.

Wait-

She ducked behind the synthiwood when she realized that there was movement in the front room. Someone had walked by the window. She eased back out just in time to see the front door open. She could hear voices. There were two people. One was a woman, and another sounded young. Not a child, but not an adult, either. Male. His voice cracked slightly, and Perrin knew in the instant before she saw him that he must be a young teenager.

A teenager? There was a teenager at Spock's house?

His hands shoved in his pockets, he slumped out the door, and she felt her heart stop. He was dark-skinned like Spock's wife. He looked human. He was tall and slim like Spock. And he had Vulcan ears. He was their son. Spock had a son.

Her vision blurred, and she muttered a curse under her breath as she quickly wiped the moisture from her eyes.

A woman stepped out but immediately turned to palm the lock, so Perrin couldn't see her clearly. Was this Nyota Uhura? She had dark skin like the woman in the picture, but her hair wasn't dark. It was almost entirely silver.

Perrin heard the boy ask if he could have a cheeseburger for lunch, and the woman replied that they'd stop for one on their way to the museum. The woman's back was still to her. Perrin had decided that she was never going to get a good look when suddenly the woman turned toward the boy, and Perrin gasped when she saw her face. The woman and the boy then crossed the yard in the opposite direction toward a flitter, but the image of what she had seen still burned in her mind. This was an old woman. Her carriage was proudly erect, but she was wrinkled, and she moved like Perrin's grandmother. She was ancient!

The shadow from the flitter passed overhead, but Perrin didn't even spare it a glance as she started back down the sidewalk. She had someplace else she needed to go.

...

Uhura sneaked a glance at Derek while they stood before a display of ancient weapons. He had hurried through the last two rooms-a collection of early musical instruments and a depiction of what pre-reform Vulcan life was like-and she had known that he was eager to reach this room. It had always been his favorite. She wished that he had shown more appreciation for the beautiful musical instruments in the other room, but she was also glad to know that some things never changed.

Unable to resist, she reached over and straightened his collar.

"I'll bet that lirpa cut off a hundred heads in its day," he said.

"I wouldn't be surprised. It was a violent time."

"We were studying it the other day. My friends say that Vulcan school must be boring, but Vulcan history is a million times better than Terran. The early humans just used spears and bows and arrows, and burned each other at the stake. Nothing like what the Vulcans did."

She chuckled. "I don't think that the glories of fratricide were really what they intended to teach you, but if it helps you learn, all the better."

"Does that look like blood to you on the edge of the blade?"

She shook her head and moved on to the next exhibit, a huge stone idol that had been unearthed in the desert. A young human woman was already standing there, and she looked up when Uhura approached.

Pointing at Derek, the woman said, "I think that your son likes the weapons."

Uhura smiled. "To say that he likes them is an understatement, but he's not my son."

"Oh, really? He looks so much like you. You must be related."

"I'll take that as a compliment, but no, we actually aren't."

"Well, he seems to be a good boy."

"He is." Uhura leaned close and whispered. "When he isn't too busy being a teenager."

The woman laughed. "I know exactly what you mean."

Derek moved in the other direction, so Uhura nodded politely. "Enjoy the museum."

"Thanks. You, too."

Catching up with him, Uhura said, "I heard that there are some new items in the early spaceflight room. Do you want to check that out next?"

"Sure." He grinned wickedly. "Do you think there will be any pictures of you and Spock in it?"

Uhura playfully shoved his arm, making him stumble slightly as they left the room. "I'm old, boy, but I'm not too old to know a smart remark when I hear one. You'd better watch your step."

He laughed, and together they headed down the hallway that would take them to the early spaceflight exhibit.

...

Still standing by the primitive statue, Perrin let her smile fade as she listened to Nyota Uhura's voice recede in the distance. Poor Spock!

This was why he worked all the time. His wife was old, much too old for him. He deserved someone younger, someone with more energy who could share his interests. Someone who could go places with him, who could do all the things he must surely either do by himself or not do at all. Someone who was still beautiful and vital, and well, she had to say it-sexually attractive.

Someone like herself.

End chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Utoto, chapter 5

"Nyota, Derek, they are here."

Spock strode to the front door and ushered Saavik and Michael into the house. He noticed that both appeared robustly healthy, with high color and an invigorated manner, and his first thought was to wonder how long it would take Nyota to say that they looked like honeymooners. Evidently their trip had been a good one.

"Greetings," he said. "I trust that your vacation was enjoyable?"

Saavik nodded. "It was very relaxing. Have you ever been to the mountains on Celdin Prime? Our lodge was near the top of the highest peak, and the views were most impressive."

Michael put his arm around her shoulders. "Breath-taking was more like it. We had a great time."

"I have never been to Celdin Prime," replied Spock. "Perhaps I should suggest to Nyota that we travel there someday."

Saavik leaned into Michael's embrace. "I would definitely recommend-"

"Mom! Dad!"

Derek bounded into the room and grabbed Saavik in a big hug. She had obviously not expected to be greeted with such vigor, because she quickly readjusted her footing in an attempt to avoid being knocked over. Raising both eyebrows, she cast a significant look at Michael when Derek did the same to him.

Michael was the first to recover. "Hello, son! We missed you. Did you have a good time here with Spock and Nyota?"

"It was superb! We went to the museum and some restaurants and we saw a lot of stuff in the Old Town. And oh yeah, wait a minute!"

He dashed away without giving anyone a chance to respond, passing Nyota on his way out just as she entered. Laughing, she held her arms out and gave both Saavik and Michael quick hugs.

"Who was that boy and what have you done with our son?" asked Michael.

Saavik lifted one corner of her mouth. "Indeed. What did you do to him?"

"Oh, we just kept him busy," said Nyota. "We ignored his attitude, we found things to do, and we even put him to work once or twice."

Michael shook his head in awe. "Whatever it was, it's amazing."

"I hope it lasts," said Saavik.

"It probably won't, which is why you need to enjoy it while you can." Nyota touched Saavik on the arm. "So, tell me all about your trip. Was it absolutely gorgeous there?"

Saavik opened her mouth to respond, but once again she was interrupted by Derek's arrival.

"Look," he said breathlessly. "Spock gave this to me."

He held out the ch'ra robe, and Saavik ran her fingers over the rich fabric. "It is beautiful, Derek."

"He's been teaching ch'ra to me, Mom. He says I'm really good at it."

"I have been very pleased with his progress," agreed Spock.

"That's great." Michael patted Derek on the back. "I'm proud of you. Maybe you can show your mother and me what you learned later. Now, though, we need to be going. Are you packed?"

Derek was already halfway out of the room. "I just need to put this in my suitcase."

"Okay," said Michael. "Hurry on, then."

Nyota gestured toward the sofa. "Please don't leave so soon. Won't you sit down for a little bit?"

Saavik shook her head. "I am sorry, Nyota, but we were able to exchange our return tickets for an earlier flight. We are eager to be home. I hope you do not mind."

"Of course not. I understand completely." She shook her finger in mock sternness. "But I hope you know that you're going to have to tell us all about it. I don't care what time it is, call us as soon as you get home."

"I would be very pleased to do that."

"Superb!" said Nyota in obvious imitation of Derek. "I'll count on it."

Derek reappeared, and Michael grabbed him by the back of the neck and gave him a little shake. "All right, Sport, say your goodbyes."

He put his arms around Nyota, who grabbed him and wouldn't let him go as quickly as he clearly would have liked. He then held up his hand to press his palm to Spock's. Saavik and Michael expressed their gratitude, herded Derek out the door, and soon Spock and Nyota were alone once again.

Everything was quiet for a long moment.

"Well," said Nyota.

"Yes."

Her eyes still on the door, she smiled wistfully. "I'll miss him."

"Ah, but you forget." Spock waited until she faced him. "We have a bargaining chip now. We will be able to ensure that he spends more time with us."

"Oh, yes." She said slowly. "The ch'ra lessons."

"Precisely."

"You'll need an audience."

"Of course."

"And I'm sure that ch'ra lessons are just as effective on Earth as they are here. He could even invite his friends to watch."

"Excellent point."

She put her arm around his waist and gave him a quick squeeze. "Are you ready for bed?"

"Soon. I have a small amount of work I must complete."

"No problem. I'd like to read for a little while, anyway."

They walked to the back hallway together and headed in opposite directions. She paused in the entrance to their bedroom and turned back toward him, however, so he stopped.

"Didn't they look terrific? I can't wait to hear what they did on their vacation." She grinned. "But I don't want to hear all the details. They looked like a couple of honeymooners. I think that you and I should go there

someday."

"I had planned to suggest the very same thing."

"Good! We're probably well beyond the stage of looking like a couple of honeymooners, but we can try, can't we?"

"As you always say, it does not hurt to try."

"You bet."

She waggled her eyebrows and then disappeared into their bedroom, so he continued toward the office.

...

Perrin felt as if her heart might burst as she sat in her front row seat and gazed up at Spock. Her arms actually ached with the desire to tenderly smooth the lines on his face, her throat constricted with the need to whisper his name, to tell him that she understood.

His voice seemed to speak solely to her.

"...and if you will view this Hawking diagram," he motioned toward a holographic display that hovered at the front of the room, "you will see that n-space not only intersects the trans-dimensional plane at the Berendt singularity, as one might expect, but also at an infinite number of loci."

He turned off the display, and she smiled dreamily when he met her eyes briefly before addressing the class.

"Your assignment is to analyze T'Parit's eighth theorem, which is based on Hawking's assumptions, and to explain why you agree or disagree. Keep in mind that this theorem has never been incontestably proved, so there is no right or wrong answer. Class dismissed."

Perrin lingered while the other students filed out of the classroom. She didn't really have anything she wanted to discuss-she certainly couldn't confess that she hadn't even looked at her project yesterday-but maybe her presence would please him. Poor, lonely man.

Her steadfastness was rewarded when he spoke her name.

"Perrin." He sat down at his desk and straightened the stack of diagrams the students had turned in at the beginning of class. "Are you well?"

"Oh, yes, very. Thank you."

"I understand from Professor Sokev that you missed your Advanced Warp Mathematics class yesterday afternoon."

She hoped that he could see the devotion shining from her eyes. He was concerned about her!

"I felt like I might have been coming down with a little cold, so I went back to my apartment to rest," she lied. "I'm fine today."

"I am pleased to hear it. Do not hesitate to seek medical assistance if you feel unwell in the future."

"I won't."

They both fell silent until he said, "Is there anything else?"

She longed to tell him that there was so much more, but instead she just shook her head. This was neither the time nor the place for what she wanted to say.

"No, nothing else. Will I see you in the lab tonight?"

"Do you require my presence?"

She decided to be a little daring. "Spock, I always benefit from your presence. It would mean so much if you stayed in the lab with me tonight."

"I will see what I can arrange. I cannot make any promises, however."

Her heart beat faster, for she knew what he was really saying: He wanted to be with her, but first he had to decide what to say to his wife. Their time together would be fleeting, however-promises but no promises. They were talking in code. Just like lovers.

"I'll take whatever I can get," she said as she headed toward the door. "Until then."

He nodded and turned his attention to the diagrams in his hand. She watched him for a moment before leaving, and she was floating so high she hardly felt the steps beneath her feet as she descended.

...

Uhura sank down on the sofa next to Spock. "What are you doing?"

He tilted the padd so she could see. "I am reading about Kevrik's most recent insights into the behavior of n-space matter. It is quite fascinating. He postulates that the laws of n-space physics, while similar to our own, have a number of key differences. Specifically..." He glanced up to see that her eyes had become slightly unfocused, and he realized that it had been a rhetorical question. "Of course, you can read the article if you are interested. What are your plans for the evening?"

"I'm going to relax. I let so many things go around the house while Derek was here that I hardly had a chance to sit down all day."

"You should have waited until I would be here to help with the household chores."

She flapped her hand dismissively. "I was glad to get them out of the way. But I was thinking about tomorrow night. Do you mind terribly if I don't go to that reception for the VSA benefactors? Jeannie Barrows called earlier to see what I was planning to wear, and just thinking about it wore me out."

"I do not mind. You understand that I cannot miss it, however."

"I understand. T'Salis gave the physics department such a huge endowment that you'd be remiss if you didn't show up. I checked with T'Lena to make sure she's going, and she said that she doesn't mind representing communications and linguistics." She hesitated for a moment. "You know, maybe it's even better this way. I've been thinking that I'm ready to scale back a bit, and this will give T'Lena the visibility she needs if she's going to replace me someday."

He raised both eyebrows. "Replace you? It was my impression that you enjoy your job a great deal. Are you thinking of retiring?"

"Not immediately, but I'm not getting any younger." He began to object, but she raised a hand to silence him. "I know, I know, I'm not ready to be put out to pasture yet, but my priorities have changed. This was already on my mind, and taking the time off to be with Derek just made me more certain that I'm ready to make some adjustments."

"I see. This is quite a surprise."

"I wasn't going to do anything before I talked to you. It's just that we both stay so busy that I don't have time to putter around the house, do things with Derek, go to the market or whatever. And the truth is that my job isn't as important to me as it used to be. I'm ready for a change."

He looked down at his padd without really seeing it, then turned it off and put it to the side. "Are you unwell?"

"Am I sick? No. Do I feel my age? Well, yes. I'm slowing down. I can't ignore it anymore. I'm getting old."

He reached for her hand. "Nyota, I cannot deny that you are aging. We both are. However, I am concerned about your sudden change in attitude."

"Oh, Spock. It isn't sudden. I just haven't wanted to admit it, to you or to myself. You know that I haven't always been one to gracefully accept the aging process."

"That is an understatement."

She shook her head ruefully. "It seems kind of silly now that I was so concerned about a few wrinkles or a gray hair or two."

"I never thought it silly. You are as beautiful now as you were on the day I met you, and that is due in large part to the scrupulous attention you have always given to your health and your appearance."

She patted his hand. "But the truth is that I can't deny it anymore. As a matter of fact..." Her voice trailed away.

"Yes?" he prompted.

She took a deep breath. "As a matter of fact, I talked to my doctor about what we should do for your next pon farr. I managed all right last year, but I'll be almost ninety next time. Ninety! I know that you tried your best to be gentle, but to be honest, it was difficult for me."

He could not prevent remorse from crumpling his features slightly. "I am sorry. I did not know-"

"Like I said, I did fine. You didn't hurt me. But I know that it'll be a different story in another five or six years. I'm frightened, Spock. I'm frightened for me, and I'm frightened for you. What if I can't satisfy you?"

"That will not happen. We will find a way. What did your doctor say?"

"She had a suggestion. You might not like it, though."

He grew very still. "It does not involve a third party, does it?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh, no! Heavens, no!" Her eyes were big.

"That is a relief."

"I mean, there might have been a time in my life when I would have considered that, but not now."

"Nyota!"

"I'm kidding." She paused a moment for obvious affect. "Unless you're talking about a male third party. Now, that would be a completely different matter. That could be very interesting. But it probably wouldn't do much for you."

He frowned. "This is a serious matter. What did your doctor tell you?"

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little nervous. She said that she could prescribe something."

"For you? I do not see how that would change anything."

"Uh, not for me. For you. Something that wouldn't dull your senses, but that would affect your strength and coordination. See, I told you that you wouldn't like it," she added in a rush.

He was speechless for a long moment, but finally he said, "I am willing to consider it."

"I hate the thought of it, but really, I don't know what else to do. How did your parents handle it?"

"I do not know, and I would prefer not to ask." Actually, he did not even wish to think about it. "We will devise our own solution."

"Okay."

"I will discuss it with my own doctor, and if he has no better suggestion, we will do what we must."

"You're going to hate it."

"That is of no consequence. What is important is that I do not harm you."

"Thank you." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "For this, and for not dragging me to that boring reception."

"It is nothing. Actually, I find that I am not eager to attend the reception, myself. I will make an appearance, but I will leave at the earliest opportunity."

"That would be fine with me. I'm ready to get back to a normal routine. I do need to spend a little time in the office this weekend, though. I'm afraid that I'll be overwhelmed on my first day back if I don't at least wade through my mail."

"I have some things I could do, as well. Perhaps we could go together."

"That sounds good! I'm glad we had this talk. I feel better about things."

"Then I am pleased, as well."

She pointed at the tri-vee. "Now, how about some 'Beaches of Betazed'? It's on tonight. It's a new episode, too. Lwaziana has to use her swimsuit as a tourniquet to save someone's life."

He reached for his padd. "I believe that I will read this article, although I have no doubt that n-space matter is not nearly so interesting as Lwaziana without a swimsuit."

She chuckled. "Actually, I think I'll read, too."

He watched her leave the room in search of her book, then resumed reading his padd.

End chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

Utoto, chapter 6

Early the next day, Perrin was sitting in the little Terran coffee shop across from Spock's preferred parking area when she happened to overhear two humans who were having a conversation nearby. She really hadn't meant to eavesdrop, her attention instead on the flitters that were gradually arriving as the VSA faculty began their day, but the conversation was so interesting that she couldn't help herself.

"Are you wearing a dress or something Vulcan?" the first woman asked.

"Definitely a dress," said the second woman. "I talked to McKenzie's wife"-Perrin recognized the name of someone in the biology department-"and she said that she's wearing a floor-length glittery gown."

"Well, I'm not so sure. A lot of important Vulcans will be there tonight, and I'd hate to offend them." The first woman took a sip of her coffee. "Have you talked to Nyota? What's she going to wear? She'd know what's appropriate."

Perrin sat straighter at the mention of Nyota Uhura's name. She couldn't believe her luck at hearing someone talk about that old woman! Maybe it wasn't so surprising, though. There weren't that many humans in ShiKahr, so it made sense that they'd all know each other.

"She's not going," replied the second woman. "She really hates to miss it, but she said that her family will be plenty well-represented without her."

The first woman chuckled. "I'd say so. Her father-in-law is one of the Academy's biggest benefactors, and I'm sure Spock will attend, too."

"Yes, she said that he'll be there." The second woman glanced at the chrono on the wall before picking up her napkin to dab her lips. "I'd better go. My students will never let me forget it if I'm late on the day we're supposed to learn about the importance of promptness in communication scheduling."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight." The first woman cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to the second woman, who was already at the door. "Hey, Jeannie! Give me a call and let me know what you decide!"

"I will!" replied the second woman, and she left.

Perrin picked up a spoon and idly stirred what remained of her coffee. There was some sort of social event going on tonight. Women were going to be dressed up in their nicest outfits, with their hair done and their make-up perfect. And Spock was going to be there. Alone.

"Excuse me." She fluttered her fingers at the woman who had been left behind. "I don't mean to be nosy, but I couldn't help but overhear. You see, I've been looking everywhere for a ball gown, and I was wondering where you found yours."

The woman smiled. "No problem. I wish that I could help, but I didn't buy it here. It's not a ball gown, anyway. More of a cocktail dress."

"Oh, I see. I thought from the way you described it that you must be going to a formal event."

"It is, but it's not what you must be imagining. It's just a mingler to give the faculty the opportunity to thank the Academy's benefactors." She leaned across the table and whispered, "The woman with the floor-length gown is always overdressed."

Perrin laughed. "I see. Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome." The woman finished her coffee and rose. "Good luck with your search. You might want to try this little shop called Nadine's in the Old Town. You never know what they'll have."

"I will. Thanks again."

Perrin watched the woman leave, then drained her coffee. If she was going to wangle an invitation to this party, she'd better get busy.

...

Standing next to his father, Spock attempted to at least appear interested in his surroundings. A musician played unobtrusively in the corner, and an array of food and drink were spread on a table across one wall. Quietly murmured discussions could be heard all around him, and the conversation between his father and the director of biological sciences was particularly engaging. He found, however, that his mind was in another place.

Nyota had looked well when he left. He had watched her closely this morning as he prepared for his day, and he had made an extra effort to stay by her side when he returned from work late this afternoon. He had seen no sign that her mental, emotional, or physical state were less than optimal. Why, then, had she brought up the subject of her age last night? Could it be that she really was beginning to slow? He had always known that this day would come, but he was not ready to embrace the fact that it was upon him.

"Is that not correct, Spock?" asked Sarek.

Hastily casting back in his memory for the last words that were spoken, Spock realized that his father had described his encounter of long ago with the mother horta, and had asked for confirmation that the details were accurate.

"You are correct," replied Spock. "The hortas are the only silicon-based sentient lifeform known to the Federation. It is sobering to realize that our only link to their entire civilization was a single being who might well not have survived our meeting her."

"Yes, quite," said Dr. Sevral. "I have applied for a grant to study the cobalt-based lifeforms recently discovered in a volcanic crevice on Marin Seven. Of course, they are not sentient, but everything I have heard about them-granted, very little-has been astounding."

"Please tell us what you have learned," requested Sarek.

Although Spock was genuinely interested in Dr. Sevral's information, he allowed a portion of his mind to return to Nyota's revelations. She had stated that she was not ready to retire, but he thought it possible that she would change her mind once she reduced her hours. This could be the first step on what eventually would become a life-altering journey. She had always been enthusiastic about her career, and to see her enthusiasm begin to wane was disquieting. He would not have predicted that she would surrender so easily to the aging process. He had assumed that she would fight it with the proverbial tooth and nail to the end of her days.

"Hello, Spock."

Turning toward the feminine voice, he saw that Perrin stood behind him. He raised an eyebrow at her appearance. The young, earnest student was gone, replaced by a lovely woman who appeared years older. She was rather over-dressed for the occasion, with a long blue gown made of a revealing fabric and dangling earrings that caught the light under her elaborate hairstyle, but this could probably be attributed to the fact that she had a date, a young human whom Spock recognized as the somewhat timid new instructor in the geology department. It would seem that his concern over her lack of a social life had been unfounded.

"Greetings, Perrin." He nodded at the young man. "Mr. Cuellar."

Cuellar nodded back, and allowed Perrin to loop her hand over his elbow and pull him forward slightly.

"This is such a nice party," she said. "I'm having a wonderful time."

Refraining from pointing out that this was not a 'party,' Spock stepped back to allow the two of them into the circle.

"Hello, Dr. Sevral. How good to see you," said Perrin.

"Likewise," he replied.

Perrin then faced Sarek, and Spock was pleased to note that she understood Vulcan etiquette well enough to introduce herself without asking his name.

"I am Perrin Larkin."

Sarek inclined his head. "I am Sarek."

She glanced briefly at Cuellar, who responded by saying, "Martin Cuellar. Pleased to meet you."

"Perrin is one of my most promising students," said Spock. "I believe that you would find her interdimensional physics project fascinating, Father."

"Indeed," added Dr. Sevral. "I have been following her progress with interest. It is an ambitious undertaking for a first-year graduate student."

"Martin, I'm so thirsty. Would you be a dear and bring me a drink? Thank you." Perrin moved closer once the young man had left. "I hope that it's not _too_ ambitious, Dr. Sevral. I've been totally stymied by one subroutine for almost three days. I'm afraid that I haven't made a bit of progress."

"I was not aware of this," said Spock. "Are you in need of assistance?"

"I would be thrilled if you could help. I hate to let it wait until next week, though. I've already lost three days."

"I will be in the office tomorrow morning if you wish to work then."

"Really? On your day off? That would be wonderful."

Sarek clasped his hands in front of his chest. "Ms. Larkin, I would be interested in hearing the details of your project. Would you indulge me?"

She blushed slightly. "Of course. The idea behind it is actually simple. You see, I've always wondered how..."

Her words gradually blended into the background noise. What was Nyota doing now? She had purchased a bottle of wine this afternoon, which she had no doubt uncorked by now. She was fond of sitting in her favorite overstuffed chair and reading while she sipped. Debussy's music would be playing in the background. She always maintained that she enjoyed her solitude, but that it was much more pleasurable when he was there to share it with her. The concept was contradictory, but he understood what she meant.

He would remain here for thirty more minutes, then he would leave.

End chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

Utoto, chapter 7

Today was the day. Poor Spock had been so miserable last night when he had seen her with another man that he had actually left the party. She felt bad for the deception, but soon he would understand.

Their charade had gone on long enough. It was time to end it.

She checked her make-up one last time, and left the apartment. The streets were very quiet as she descended the steps of her building, and she knew she might have to wait a while for the next shuttle. This was eighth-day, the equivalent of Sunday where she'd grown up on Earth, a day on which Vulcans meditated, caught up on their chores at home, and relaxed with their families. Not Spock, though. He evidently found it more desirable to be in his office than at home even on a day like this.

Or maybe this was something recent for him, now that he knew that she, Perrin, might meet him there. Why else would he have told her last night that he would be in his office today?

She saw a shuttle approaching, and she waited patiently until it had stopped before her. She was not in a hurry. A Vulcan would say that everything unfolds just as it should, and she was appreciating the Vulcan philosophies more every day. She would fit in well here.

Taking a seat on the nearly empty shuttle, she looked out the window and thought about everything she had left behind on Earth. She had enjoyed her childhood in Olney, but she had always known that she was destined for greater things. When she had left Illinois for UCLA, she had known that she would never be back. UCLA had been good, too, but it had quickly become apparent that she deserved more than that, and she had transferred to Oxford. England had been wonderful, but her plans there had fallen through and she had moved on without a backward glance.

And now she was here. This was the right place for her. She felt it in her bones. She understood the Vulcans, and she knew that she would soon be accepted by them in a way that the average human couldn't achieve. Everything that had happened in her life had been just another step that would bring her closer to where she belonged. Here.

The shuttle stopped, and she started down the path that would take her to the physics building. She tried to hang on to her calm resolve, but she could feel excitement begin to overtake it. And really, could she be blamed? She had waited so long for this moment!

Soon, she had climbed the steps, and she stood outside the door to Spock's office. She stepped close, signaled her presence, and when he said, "Come," she entered. He was sitting behind his desk, and he held her eyes as she approached.

...

Uhura tidied her desk and shut down her computer. She'd expected this to take half the day, but it hadn't been nearly as bad as she'd anticipated. She'd have to be sure she thanked her assistant tomorrow for staying on top of things while she was gone.

Leaving her office, she pictured the surprised expression on Spock's face when she dropped by his office and told him that she was ready to go home.

...

Spock looked up in puzzlement as Perrin crossed his office without speaking. She appeared to have forgotten her padd, and she had an odd expression on her face. He could not comprehend her intent. Had she stayed out too late last night or perhaps even over-indulged? Such behavior did tend to have a deleterious effect on humans the next day.

He rotated in his chair, watching her as she came around his desk and stopped before him.

"Ah... greetings," he said. "Is all well with you today?"

"Oh, yes," she murmured.

He turned toward his computer and leaned back so she could see over his left shoulder. Gesturing at the screen, he said, "I notice that you did not bring your padd, but I assume that your most recent changes are on the main computer. May I retrieve your program for you?"

She smiled. "Not today. I have something else in mind for today."

Drawing his eyebrows together, he slowly swiveled his chair toward her again as he waited for her to elucidate. The silence stretched awkwardly between them. Her expression was so benign that he was seriously beginning to wonder if she was under the influence of an illicit substance. He was reminded of the people on Beta III who were controlled by Landru, whose blissful, vacant expressions belied the fact that their internal clocks were ticking down to a frenzied explosion of debauchery-

Her fingers fluttered across his cheek, and for an instant, he was too stunned to react. When she stepped between his knees and put both hands on his face, however, he jumped to his feet and tried to back away, but his chair was already against the side of his desk, and it had no place to roll. He lost his footing and stumbled backwards, inadvertently tangling his feet with hers and causing her to fall against him.

"Oh, Spock!" she cried, and the next thing he knew she had thrown her arms around him and was pressing the full length of her body against his. She tried to kiss him, but he averted his face, and finally he managed to get his feet underneath him. He grasped her upper arms and tried to hold her away from him.

"Perrin!" he stammered. "You cannot... We cannot... This is highly irregular-"

"I love you, Spock!" Her hands were on him now, wildly caressing his chest, roaming much too far for comfort. "We can't deny this attraction anymore!"

"What the hell is going on here?"

Both of their heads whipped toward the door, and Spock could not remember ever being so relieved in his life. It was Nyota. He had been rescued.

He took advantage of the distraction and thrust Perrin away.

"Oh, no!" she gasped. "Spock! It's your wife!" Instead of fleeing as he had expected, she actually put a hand on his chest and leaned against him. He backed away as best he could.

"You're the girl from the museum," said Nyota, disbelief evident in her voice.

"The museum?" repeated Spock.

"Yes! She struck up a conversation with me. She wanted to talk about Derek."

Perrin shook her head wildly. "Oh, Spock, she caught us! I'm sorry you had to see this, Nyota, but maybe it's for the best."

Nyota gave her an incredulous look before addressing Spock. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, still rather shaken by the turn events had taken.

"Tell her, Spock!" insisted Perrin. "Tell her about us!"

"Oh, shut up!" said Nyota, suddenly angry. "And get away from him. You're not fooling anyone with that."

Perrin straightened defiantly. "You don't know! You don't know anything! You're blind to your husband's needs, and he turned to me."

"Honey, my eyes are wide open, and I know that the last thing he needs-or wants-is you."

Perrin came around the desk. "You're old and ugly," she hissed. "He deserves someone young and pretty, not someone who looks like she could be his mother."

Nyota's eyebrows shot up, and she clearly did not have a response for this. Spock, however, did.

He grasped Perrin's arm tightly and marched her toward the door. She whimpered at the strength of his grip, but he did not care.

"That is enough," he stated. "I will not have you speak to my wife in this manner, and I will not be subjected to your advances. Tomorrow you will find yourself transferred to Professor Tarik's physics class. If you ever attempt to contact me or my wife again, I will see you expelled from this school. Good day."

Nyota stepped out of the way, and Spock released Perrin with enough emphasis that she had to take several quick steps to keep her footing.

"No," Perrin gasped. "It can't be."

He slapped the pad by the door, and it slid shut. He continued to stare at the door until he had regained his composure, then faced Nyota.

He took a deep breath. "I do not know what to say."

She ran her hand across her forehead.

"I cannot comprehend why she thought that her advances would be welcome," he continued. "Truly, I had no idea that she was harboring such thoughts."

Nyota smiled tiredly. "Someone would practically have to tattoo your name on their forehead before you'd notice that they were harboring such thoughts."

"But why me? I did nothing to encourage her. I do not understand why she decided that she was attracted to me."

"Oh, Spock." This time her smile was sincere. "All you have to do is just be you, and a person can't help but be attracted to you."

"I am sorry for what she said."

She shrugged. "She's jealous. She was trying to hurt me."

"It was still unnecessary." He pulled her close, unable to resist a nervous glance over the top of her head at the closed door. "And very wrong. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known."

He could feel her relax in his arms, and he finally felt some of the tension leave his body, as well.

"As long as you think so, that's all I need," she said.

"I do, and I always will."

"And I'm not all that old. Why, I could kick her puny ass from here to Centaurus with one hand tied behind my back."

Pulling away just enough to look into her eyes, he allowed a hint of amusement to show on his face. "My point exactly."

She didn't respond at first, but finally her mouth twisted up on one side in a lopsided smile.

"Let's go home," she said.

...

Perrin stood outside Spock's closed door and tried to assimilate what had just happened. He had been angry. He had recoiled from physical contact. He had forced her to leave.

He had chosen that old woman over her.

She felt her lip begin to tremble, and she looked up at the door in the hope that he would come out and see how badly he had hurt her. Nothing happened, though, and finally she covered her face with a gasping sob. He didn't care! He would break her heart and not even bother to say that he was sorry.

She whirled away and dashed down the hall. Her vision was so blurry that she was afraid she might fall down the steps, and she imagined the look on his face when he found her lying bloodied and broken on the cold stones below. She made it to the bottom without mishap, though, and she ran out of the building without looking back.

A shuttle was just pulling up to her usual stop, and she felt her face grow hot when she saw that the passengers were averting their eyes. Damn them! Damn them all! She found a seat away from anyone else, and hunkered down so that no one could see her red nose, her bloodshot eyes, her wild hair and ruined make-up. No one would have to endure her messy emotions. No one would even be tempted to feel contempt for the pathetic human.

The ride took forever, but finally she was able to flee the embarrassing non-looks of the other passengers and reach the refuge of her own apartment.

She stopped dead in her tracks when the door closed behind her. There, on her little table, was the picture of Spock she had captured from her computer search. It had been her favorite-his hair was barely touched with gray, and she had learned that if she held it at just the right angle, he appeared to be looking directly at her. She picked it up, tilted it so that he would look at her one last time, then dashed it against the wall.

The holo-emitter shattered into a hundred tiny fragments, and she ran back to her bedroom and threw herself on the bed

End chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

Utoto, chapter 8

All by herself in the lab, Perrin ignored the fatigue that ached at the back of her eyes. It was well after midnight, but she didn't care. She would show him. He probably thought that she couldn't go on without him, but the project would be better than ever. She'd make all his students look like fifth graders with their sad little first attempts at science projects.

The bastard. Who did he think he was, rejecting her like that? He had been so nice, too. So helpful and concerned. He had fooled her into thinking that he cared. He had probably known exactly what he was doing the whole time, stringing along his silly little graduate student. This probably wasn't even the first time something like this had happened. He would make them fall in love with him, and he would cruelly break it off without even an explanation. No doubt he found his little games very satisfying, since he clearly wasn't capable of real love.

But then again... He _had_ been concerned about her. She was sure of it. Why else would he have worked so hard to ensure that her project was good? Why else would he have told her to find new interests? There was no denying that he had wanted her to be successful and happy. That hadn't been part of a game. And all the effort he had made to spend his free time with her, not to mention the fact that he even had so much free time in the first place...

It didn't make sense. He had appeared so content in the images she had found in her computer search, and there had been fondness in his expression when he looked at Nyota Uhura. Of course, most of those were quite old. Maybe he and his wife had been close back then, but over the years something had changed, and now he spent as much time as possible away from home. Maybe he was searching for something. Maybe it had even been an accident, but he had met a young, attractive woman with whom he had much in common. A human woman. Just like his mother and his wife.

How could she have missed this before?

He was looking for a replacement for his wife, another human just like his mother. How desperately pathetic! He had sought her out because he was in search of happiness, and she had been gullible enough not to see it before. Thank heavens she had her eyes wide open now! She thought she had learned her lesson with Geoffrey, another contemptible man who had led her to believe he was something he was not, but here she was, having repeated the same mistake again. Sometimes it was a drawback to have such a trusting, loving nature. She was just the sort of person who naturally attracted men, both the good ones and the bad ones, and she would have to ensure she was on the lookout for the bad ones from now on.

She turned back to her simulation with renewed vigor, glad to have dodged such a hopeless situation.

...

Sarek leaned back in his comfortably padded seat in the small concert hall and allowed the music to wash over him. At one time in his life, he would have been critically attentive to every note and every nuance of the performance, but Amanda had always insisted that one should not overthink music. She would refuse to perceive the questionable choices in artistic interpretation and the small errors, instead focusing on the overall experience. This meant that moments of technical brilliance often escaped her notice, but in her opinion, these should blend into the performance, as well. During her life, he had merely pretended to listen in such a manner to humor her, but after her death he had eventually realized that she had been right. It seemed illogical that one would miss so much when one was focused on analyzing every detail, but it was true.

Amanda had loved Mozart. She had loved chamber ensembles. She had especially loved this quartet, the so-called 'Dissonance Quartet.' Of course, that was why memories of her would weigh so heavily on his mind at the moment.

The music ended with a flourish, so Sarek complimented the musicians and left. It had been a rather short performance, but that was often the case with midday recitals. The target audience consisted of students, and they usually could not spare more than a small interval of time. Except for picking up a classified document from the Terran Embassy, however, he himself had nothing planned for the afternoon. So, when he came to the fork in the walkway that would take him either to his transportation or deeper into the Academy's campus, he chose to walk across campus. There was something he wished to do before he left.

He walked past the ancient sandstone buildings that housed the exobiology and philosophy departments. He did not pause to admire the new wing on the chemistry building, nor did he spare more than a glance for the small dome under which the horticulture students experimented with new varieties of non-native crops. He had already seen the elaborately carved columns on the observatory, and he had no interest in perusing the schedule of upcoming events posted outside the chemistry lecture hall. When he reached the side entry of the shiny, ultra-modern VSA Medical Sciences building, however, he entered. Here, within the cool, sterile confines of the medical center, he would find what he sought.

He took the lift to the second floor and walked down the corridor until he found the East Wing lobby. This part of the building was bright and spacious, with a high ceiling that extended two more floors, and skylights that filtered the sun so that it appeared more yellow than red. A wide variety of Terran flora flourished under these conditions, which was appropriate since the Center for Terran Health was on the floor just above. He could even see its sign through the broad leaves of a mature palm tree nearby.

He wove his way between the benches and found a seat in a secluded corner. There, illuminated by a discreet light set into the floor, was Amanda's favorite watercolor, an original that had been painted by the minor Terran artist Van Hoef. Although it had been somewhat difficult for Sarek to part with it-and acknowledging that he might be experiencing a sentimental attachment to an object was the most difficult part of all-he had donated it to the medical center in her memory.

He gazed at the vivid purples and pinks of a Texas meadow in the spring, and he remembered the trip during which she had purchased it. They were not yet married, but he had known that he would soon ask her to bond with him. They had journeyed into the hill country near San Antonio, and she had spotted the artist's studio set far back from a dusty road, surrounded by spindly trees with parasitic moss that attracted swarms of hummingbirds. Van Hoef had insisted that the painting was promised to another buyer, but she had wheedled and persisted until he had finally let it go.

He permitted himself a small sigh, then rose from his seat and left the building. This time, he chose the shortest path to his flitter, and before long he had landed the flitter on the other side of town and was on foot again, approaching the front door of the Terran Embassy.

He entered and immediately walked to the reception desk. The guard recognized him and held out a padd for his signature. Just as he reached for it, his attention was caught by the click of heels against the floor. He glanced up to see a young woman crossing the lobby, and before he could stop himself, he gasped softly, for his first, unbidden impression was that it was Amanda.

Of course, he was being quite ridiculous. He was allowing his perception to be influenced by his earlier memories. This was Perrin Larkin, Spock's student. He had only met her the one time, but he did not know how he had failed to recognize her sooner.

She did not notice him until she had drawn near, at which point she halted abruptly and took a step back.

"Greetings, Ms. Larkin."

"Hello, Ambassador." She nervously clasped her hands. "It's good to see you again. How are you?"

"I am well, thank you. And you?"

"I'm fine. I'm here to renew my visa. It's hard to believe that I've already been on Vulcan for six months."

"I see. Do not allow me to keep you."

"That's all right. I'm already done. I'm sure that you're on your way somewhere, though."

"Actually, I am merely here to take possession of a document. I have no schedule to keep."

He paused as he noticed again how much she resembled Amanda. She was slightly taller and her hair was too dark, but there was something about her refined carriage that made him think again of the young woman who had brought a small, unimportant watercolor from Earth as if it were a great treasure. Admittedly, his first impression of Amanda had been that she was rather frivolous, as all humans had seemed to him at the time, but he had engaged her in conversation nonetheless. He had quickly learned that his over-generalization of humans had been unfair, and there was much more to her than first met the eye.

He gestured toward the small cafe near the front door. "Would you care to sit with me? I was intrigued by your project, but Spock has told me nothing about it recently."

She studied his face for a long moment before carefully saying, "You haven't talked to Spock about it? Or, um, anything?"

"No, not at all. I dined with him just last night, but he said nothing of it."

She smiled suddenly. "Then I believe I'll take you up on your offer. I don't have to be back on campus for another hour, and I can't think of a better way to spend the time."

End chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

Utoto, chapter 9

How quickly the months had passed. Uhura sat next to Spock in their flitter and reflected on how much she was enjoying life right now. Scaling back her hours had been one of the best decisions she'd ever made. It had been years since she'd tried to learn something challenging on her harp, and regular swim sessions at the Sotikahr pool had given her new energy. She had been a fool to think that she was slowing down because she was getting old. She had just been bored.

"Spock," she said. "Would you mind if I signed up for pottery classes twice a week? They're in the evening, so it'll cut into our time together at home."

"I do not mind. I did not realize that you had an interest in pottery."

"It's something new. I happened to see an article about a studio down in the Old Town, and it looked like it might be fun. It'll probably be therapeutic, too. Some days my fingers are stiff, and I've always heard it's good for that."

"It does seem that it would build strength and flexibility."

She patted his knee. "Thanks for being such a good sport about my new hobbies."

"Thanks are not necessary. I am actually quite pleased to witness your renewed vigor. I must confess that I was concerned when you said that you had lost enthusiasm for your career, but it is obvious now that my concerns were unfounded."

"Still, thanks. I promise I won't take up skydiving, or ask you to join me if I sign up for that interpretative dance class I heard about."

"I am most appreciative."

Chuckling, she looked out the window as he slowed the shuttle and brought it down for a landing. "Hmmm. Look at that," she said. "Your mother's last rose bush is gone. I guess your father finally gave up on it. What a shame."

"He does not have the touch for gardening that she did. I did not expect it to last this long."

They both got out and started toward the front door.

"Still, it was in pretty good shape the last time I noticed," she said. "I'm surprised it went downhill so quickly."

"We have not been here for quite some time, and this is the hot season. It would not take long for a plant to die."

"It's always the hot season, as far as a rose bush is concerned. But you're right. I hadn't realized how long it's been since your father had us over for dinner. I guess he's been busy."

The door opened for them, so they entered.

"Father? We are here," said Spock.

Appearing from the direction of the kitchen, Sarek ushered them into the main living area. "Greetings. I had just finished programming our meal."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Uhura.

"Thank you, but I selected a rather simple menu. There is nothing else to be done. Would you care for a beverage? I have some white wine, if you are interested."

She raised both eyebrows in surprise. "That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Spock?"

"Water, please."

Sarek vanished into the kitchen. Spock sat down, but as she turned to join him, her eye happened to fall on the recessed shelf behind his chair.

"Spock? What happened to your great-grandmother's china?"

Turning quickly, he said, "I do not know."

"Those plates have been lined up across the back of that shelf since the first day I came here. I wonder why your father took them down."

"Perhaps he rearranged things."

She looked around the room, then took a step back so she could survey the dining room. "I sure don't see them anywhere." Moving close, she whispered, "You don't think he got rid of them, do you?"

"He is very well aware of how important they were to my mother. Perhaps he is cleaning them. We will ask him."

Sitting down, she looked around to see if anything else was missing, but everything looked the same. Except...

She leaned close again and whispered, "Didn't there used to be a holo of your parents over there?"

"Indeed there did."

She straightened when Sarek rejoined them with a tray holding three glasses. She accepted her wine with a smile and waited while he took a seat across from them. Spock sipped in silence, so she did the same, but finally she gave him a significant look and he lowered the glass.

"Father," he said, "we could not help but notice that Mother's china is no longer out."

"That is correct."

"Where is it?" asked Uhura.

"In the cabinet with the rest of the set."

She sat back in relief. "Oh, good. I was afraid that something, uh, happened to it. It's just that it's been there for years, and I was surprised to see it gone." When Sarek didn't reply, she added, "What made you decide to put it away?"

"The shelf was always intended as a site for a meditative water sculpture. I thought it time to restore it to its original purpose. I have no use for the china anymore. Would you wish to have it?"

"Absolutely!" replied Uhura.

"Very well. You may take it with you tonight."

Spock gestured toward the tabletop where the holo used to be. "And what of the hologram of you and Mother?"

"The holo-emitter malfunctioned. I have not yet replaced it." A beep sounded in the kitchen, and Sarek rose. "Our meal is ready. Would you care to eat now?"

Uhura nodded, so Sarek started toward the kitchen. She met Spock's eyes, shrugged, and followed.

...

The next week, Spock came home from work to find Nyota dragging a heavy chair across the room. He hurried over and took it from her.

"Thanks," she said. "Could you put it over there?"

He did as instructed. "You just rearranged this room. Did you decide that you do not like it?"

"I was fine with it, but I need to make room for something. Something big."

He waited for her to elaborate, but she appeared reluctant. "What?" he prompted.

"Your father called today and asked me if we wanted the piano."

Too surprised to respond immediately, he folded his arms across his chest to fill the moment. Finally, he said, "First it was the china, and now it is the piano. I would also question whether the holo-emitter actually malfunctioned."

"I know," she said sympathetically. "I've been thinking about it all afternoon. It's almost as if..."

Her voice trailed away, so he voiced what she obviously could not. "He is trying to remove all traces of my mother."

"Maybe we're jumping to the wrong conclusion. Is this a significant anniversary of some sort? Maybe having reminders of your mother is just too painful for him."

"Too painful for my father? And after so many years? I do not believe that we are jumping to the wrong conclusion. I need to have a talk with him."

She moved close and rested a hand on his arm. "Just be careful, okay? Don't act like you're hurt or go on the attack. As you said, it's been many years. Maybe he thinks it's just time to move on."

"I am not hurt. I am merely puzzled." When she continued to gaze at him without replying, he added, "Very well. I will not allow my emotions concerning my mother to cloud the issue."

She nodded and squeezed his arm, so he left.

...

Since his father was not expecting him, Spock did not go far into the house when the front door opened. Instead, he stood just inside the threshold and announced his presence.

"Father?"

The house was completely silent, and he had come to the conclusion that no one was home despite the flitter parked outside when his father appeared from the back of the house.

"Greetings, Spock. Forgive me for not answering the door more promptly. I was not expecting you."

"It is of no consequence." Spock paused, expecting Sarek to invite him into the main room. When Sarek did not, he said, "Nyota told me that you gave your piano to her."

"That is correct."

"Do you no longer want it?"

"I have no need for it."

Spock pressed his lips together. Evidently, Sarek was not going to offer an explanation. He decided to adopt a different approach.

"As with the china, we are pleased to have objects that were so important to Mother. It is generous of you to offer them to us."

"It pleases me to do so."

"However, I cannot help but wonder why you have suddenly decided to divest yourself of these articles. May I inquire about your motives?"

"You may. I have decided that it is time to return my home to a more Vulcan appearance."

"Ah. I see. So you are not ridding yourself of items that remind you of Mother. You are ridding yourself of Terran items."

"That is correct, although of course the distinction is a fine one."

"Agreed, but it is a distinction nonetheless. You have hardly changed the house since Mother died. Was there a catalyst that brought about this decision now?"

Sarek hesitated, then said, "It is merely time to do so. I am quite busy, Spock. I appreciate your coming here to express your gratitude. Tell Nyota it is my wish that she will enjoy the piano."

Very aware that he was being dismissed, Spock could only nod and say, "I will relay the message. Good day, Father."

"Good day, Son."

Spock walked out the door, and it shut behind him. He stood in front of the house for a moment and frowned. This trip had been quite unhelpful. He was no better informed now than he had been before.

As he walked to his flitter, however, he realized that he _had_ learned something. There was definitely a reason behind this change in his father's behavior. He just had not yet uncovered what it was.

...

Uhura put down her armload of knickknacks when she heard the flitter return, and she met Spock at the door.

"Did you learn anything?" she asked.

Spock strode to their dining table and sat down, so she joined him.

"I learned that he is not ridding himself of these things because they remind him of Mother."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"I thought so at first, but now I am not sure. He said that he wishes his home to be more Vulcan."

"Well, I can see why he might feel that way. He's hardly done a thing to change that house since she died. Maybe it's about time."

"That was actually the reason he gave."

"So why are you disturbed about it?"

"Because that is not an answer."

"Sure it is. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Raising an eyebrow at her analogy, he said, "I asked a direct question about what happened to make him change his mind, and he clearly avoided the question. Then, in the same breath, he told me that he was busy and implied that it was time for me to leave."

"Maybe he _was_ busy."

"I am unconvinced."

She caught her lower lip between her teeth as she studied him. He was really unsettled by this.

"Tell you what," she said. "I've lined up someone to transport the piano day after tomorrow. I don't have the coordinates yet, so instead of calling him, I'll drop by tomorrow evening under the pretense of getting them myself. Maybe the indirect approach will work better than the direct approach."

"That is possible," he conceded. "He has always had what my mother would have called a 'soft spot' for you. Perhaps he will discuss something with you that he found difficult to discuss with me."

"Okay. It's decided, then."

...

Bringing the flitter down, Uhura noticed that the landing pad was empty. Rats. Evidently, Sarek wasn't home. Oh well, that was the chance she had taken when she decided to drop by without calling. If she had called first, she would have had to explain why she was coming, and Sarek would have offered to get the coordinates himself. So, here she was, and she really did need to get the coordinates now. She'd just have to find another excuse to come back tomorrow.

She slung her tricorder over her shoulder, picked up the basket on the seat next to her, and walked toward the front door. Amanda had always made the most wonderful little rolls from scratch, and Uhura had dug around in Amanda's computer after she died to make sure that the recipe was preserved. This would be a good way to remind Sarek that maybe he didn't want to remove _all_ Terran influences from his life. She'd leave the rolls on the kitchen counter with a note.

She covered the last few steps of the front walk and almost walked right into the front door when it didn't open for her. Was it malfunctioning? She pressed her palm to the lock, and still nothing happened, so she flipped up the panel and punched in a few commands. It flashed and beeped, proving that it was still operating, but evidently it didn't recognize her.

She shrugged and started around the house. The back door was set so that it wouldn't open automatically, but she knew the access code so she'd let herself in that way. When she punched in the code, though, the door did not open.

Great. She stepped off the stone path and trudged through the sand until she reached the big window across the back of the house. Peering in, she could just barely see the piano, which was on the same wall as the window. It appeared to be about two meters over, so she counted her paces until she thought that she was directly on the other side of the wall from it. She awkwardly balanced the basket on her hip while she fiddled with the tricorder, adjusting the coordinates for the estimated depth of the wall, and then she saved the settings and headed back to the flitter.

Hopefully Sarek would be home later, and she could call to confirm her settings. Otherwise, it would be a real bitch if they accidentally transported his back wall into their house. Maybe she'd better reschedule if she couldn't reach him.

...

"Thank you, Nyota, but my appetite is satisfied."

Spock watched as Sarek declined the at'chir fruit Nyota held toward him. He had to admire her subtlety. When they had returned to his father's house yesterday to find that the door would not open for him, either, she had proposed that they invite Sarek over for dinner, ostensibly to thank him for the piano. She had set her finest table using Amanda's china, her own mother's silver place settings and linen napkins, and even fresh flowers from the Old Town, and she had not brought up a single subject that could be considered controversial.

Spock, himself, was experiencing difficulty keeping his questions to himself, but she had instructed him to follow her lead. His father might be a skilled negotiator, but Spock suspected that he had been outmatched tonight.

She pushed her plate away and smiled at Spock. "I'd love a cup of coffee, and I'll bet that your father would appreciate some tea. Would you mind? I swam two extra laps today, and I'm feeling it."

"I will prepare the beverages."

He stacked their plates and carried them to the kitchen, and he listened to the conversation in the next room while he heated the water. He had expected Nyota to begin asking her questions, but instead she merely chatted about how happy she was to have the piano. When he carried their beverages back to the table, she segued into her intended topic.

"Sarek," she said, "Spock said that you'd like your home to be more Vulcan. I hope I'm not being forward, but are you planning to keep that antique hutch in the dining room? I've always loved it."

"It is good that you mentioned this," replied Sarek. "I have recently decided that I do not want the hutch. You may have the matching table, as well."

"Really?" Nyota could not keep the surprise from her voice. "Does that include the chairs?"

"Yes."

"Father, I do not understand," said Spock. "The dining room will be left empty. What else could you possibly plan to put in that room?"

Sarek drew himself up, and if Spock had not known better, he would have thought that his father was nervous. Finally, Sarek said, "It is time to tell you this. I am selling the city house and moving permanently to the family estate."

Nyota's mouth fell open, and unfortunately Spock suspected that his own expression was not much different.

"But... but why?" she sputtered. "That big old place is cold and uncomfortable, and it couldn't be more inconvenient. Why would you leave your wonderful home?"

"It is the place of my family," said Sarek. "My father lived there, and his father's father. I have neglected my position for too long."

"Of what position do you speak?" asked Spock. "You have nothing to prove. No one expects you to live there. Very few of the old families reside in their ancestral estates anymore."

Sarek brought his hand down on the table. "It is time for me to take my place in society. I have become soft. I have lived too long in a human's home. It is not fitting."

Spock shook his head. He had no reply for this. Nyota, however, leaned forward and gently asked, "Sarek, it's your prerogative to live wherever you'd like, but I have a feeling that there's more to this than what you're telling us. Is everything all right? Has something happened?"

Sarek took a deep breath, and his eyes shifted from her to Spock, and back to her again. "Very well. You deserve to know. I am thinking of taking another bondmate."

There was a long silence, filled only by the ticking of Nyota's antique clock in the study. So. This explained much. Spock pushed away his first reaction, illogically a mixture of both relief and regret, and forced himself to nod calmly. This should not be such a surprise. His father had been unbonded for far too many years.

"Congratulations, Father. If you decide to take this step, I wish you many years of prosperity."

He resisted the impulse to ask the name of the intended, but Nyota had no such compunctions.

"Oh, Sarek, that's wonderful," she said. "Who is she? Is she someone we know?"

Sarek regarded her steadily. "Perhaps it would be best if I discussed this with Spock later."

Her smile faltered, and Spock could see that she was hurt. "Oh. Okay. If you'd rather not tell me, I understand."

"Father, anything that you wish to say to me can be said in front of Nyota," he said.

"You do not understand," said Sarek. If Spock had not known better, he might have thought that there was a pleading tone in his father's voice. "I do not wish to offend Nyota, but it is best that we do not talk about this now."

"She is family. You dishonor her."

"Spock," Sarek's voice grew steely. "You would be wise not to push this matter."

"Please, just forget about it," said Nyota.

Spock stood. He knew that he was being unreasonable, but for some reason he could not leave this alone. There was something almost frightening about his father's behavior.

"No, we will not," he insisted. "I would have you tell us, Father."

"Very well." Sarek also stood. "You have brought this upon yourself, Spock. I wished to spare Nyota, but you leave me no choice. My intended is your student, Perrin."

Spock took a quick step back. He could not reply at first, but finally he echoed, "Perrin?"

"Yes. Perrin."

"But..." Spock swallowed in an attempt to regain his composure. "Are you aware of what happened between us?"

"Yes."

"And you would still pursue a relationship with her?"

Sarek addressed Nyota. "I am truly sorry, Nyota."

She shook her head in confusion. "Why would you apologize to me?"

"Then you do not know."

"Know what?" she asked.

"That Spock pursued an improper relationship with her."

Spock frowned. "What?"

"You must tell Nyota, my son. I cannot hide your disreputable behavior any longer."

"I did not pursue her," said Spock. "It was very much the reverse."

Sarek shook his head regretfully. "A lie. I thought you more honorable than that."

"It is not a lie. She has deceived you. You cannot allow her to make a fool of you, Father. You must discontinue this relationship."

Sarek stiffened. "You dare to tell me what to do, Spock? And you dare to slander her? I will have none of this. If you wish to destroy your marriage, I cannot stop you, but I will not allow you to destroy my future."

Stepping between them, Nyota said, "Spock didn't do anything wrong. She's lying to you."

He looked down at her, and pity was obvious in his expression. "I have touched her thoughts. I know the truth."

There was a moment of silence before she looked over her shoulder at Spock. She tried to disguise it, but he could see a flicker of doubt pass across her expression. He met her eyes with determination, and he was relieved to see that the doubt was replaced with conviction before she turned back to Sarek.

"Well, so do I," she retorted. "I was there. I saw what happened. She threw herself at him."

"That is enough. I would never have expected you to look away from your husband's unfaithfulness, Nyota."

"Father, somehow she has tricked you," said Spock. "She is unstable. You must believe us. Touch _my_ thoughts, and you will see-"

"I said, that is enough! If you cannot accept this with at least a modicum of integrity, I must take my leave of you. Perhaps with time you will reflect upon your deceit, and you will make amends to those you have wronged."

As Sarek continued to glare at him, Spock straightened and did not make another comment. He had offered his thoughts-no, himself-something he had not done during a lifetime of waiting for his father to do that very thing, but he had been refused. So be it. He would not beg.

Finally, Sarek turned and walked away. The door opened and closed, and he was gone.

Nyota sagged against the table. "I can't believe this."

"We cannot allow it."

"But what can we do? The more we insist, the more he's going to dig in his heels. What I don't understand is how she managed to convince him that it was your fault. He touched her thoughts! How did she do it?"

"Obviously, she has convinced herself that I was the aggressor. That is the only way he would be able to touch her thoughts and see a different scenario than what really happened."

She dragged her hand across her face. "Oh, heavens. I think I'm going to be ill. This is awful."

"I am simply numb. I do not know how to react."

"It's a nightmare. What a mess."

"It is too much to assimilate-the house, the marriage, Perrin... I would question my father's mental state."

She sunk into a chair. "What could he possibly see in her?"

"I cannot imagine." He joined her at the table. "She is intelligent, but she is also inexperienced and immature. I am certain that they have little in common."

"Do you think that he, uh, really needs to get bonded soon, and she's just available?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You know as well as I do that a male's pon farrs generally diminish greatly upon the death of his mate, providing that the couple has reached at least middle age together."

"It was just a thought. Anyway, I guess that if he and your mother hadn't had enough time together, it would have been a problem before now." She paused, and he could tell that she had something else to say.

"Yes?" he prompted.

"Do you think that she reminds him of your mother?"

"She is nothing like my mother."

"Spock, I know that you don't like her, but you can't deny that there are similarities between them."

He frowned at her, so she dropped the matter. They sat in silence until he finally said, "I find it difficult to believe that he will go through with this."

"Same here. I'm sure he'll come to his senses." She picked up her coffee, sipped, and grimaced. "It's cold."

"Stay seated. I will heat more water while I clear the table, and then I will join you again."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

He picked up the remaining dishes and carried them into the kitchen.

End chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

Utoto, chapter 10

Spock sat politely while Nyota struggled through the first few lines of 'Clair de lune.' She was an accomplished musician, but she had never attempted to learn the piano, and unfortunately her vocal and harp experience did not provide the necessary background. She also would not allow him to help. However, she had stayed with this task since the day the piano had arrived, so he had to credit her determination.

He rose quickly at the chime of an incoming communication. "I will answer that."

When she scowled, he realized that he might have reacted too eagerly to the prospect of escape, but she kept plunking at the keys with the same methodic and rather unmelodic resolve.

"Do not stop," he added, although it sounded unconvincing even to his ears. "I will listen from the study."

She finally removed her hands from the keys long enough to wave him from the room. "Go on, get out of here. I promise that I did better yesterday. I'll work on it some more and play it for you later."

"Very well."

She restarted from the top of the page just as he seated himself at the office computer. "Spock here."

The screen brightened to show the face of Sadev, one of the instructors in the geology department at the VSA.

"Greetings, Spock."

"Greetings, Sadev."

"I trust you are well."

"Quite. And you?"

"Quite well. I am calling in reference to some unusual news I received today."

"Indeed?"

"An instructor in my department, Martin Cuellar, asked me if one gave 'wedding gifts' on Vulcan. Naturally, I required more information, and when I asked who was getting married, he explained that the gift was for your father and a young human woman by the name of Perrin Larkin."

Spock managed to keep his face expressionless. So. Sarek had asked Perrin to bond with him after all.

"I see," he replied.

Sadev waited, clearly expecting Spock to say more. There was nothing else to be said, however, so Spock remained silent.

Finally, Sadev said, "I do not know her personally, but I have heard that she is one of your students. Is this true?"

"I taught her at one time, but she is not currently my student."

Sadev nodded thoughtfully. "At any rate, I informed Mr. Cuellar that while one would not typically present a Vulcan with a wedding gift, it is my belief that such gifting is customary among humans. Therefore, if he wishes to give Ms. Larkin a gift, it would be acceptable. One human to another, as it were."

"Of course."

"Are you in agreement?"

"Yes." Spock could not keep the impatience from his voice. He knew very well that Sadev had not called to ask his approval; he merely wished to see Spock's reaction to the news. "If that is all-"

"I would not wish to have given Mr. Cuellar inappropriate advice."

"Your advice was sound. Good day, Sadev."

"I am pleased to hear that. It would be unfortunate if Mr. Cuellar were to give offense to your father, who is after all one of Vulcan's most respected-"

"I appreciate your consideration. Good day."

Spock terminated the connection without giving Sadev the opportunity to prolong the conversation, then rose to tell Nyota the news. Before he could leave the room, however, the computer chimed again. No doubt it was Sadev again. He took a deep breath, sat back down, and said sternly, "Spock here."

This time, the screen brightened to show Saavik's face. She immediately raised both eyebrows.

"Have I called at a bad time?" she asked without preamble.

"Forgive me, Saavik. I was expecting someone else. How are you?"

"I am fine, as are Michael and Derek. Michael is out of town until tomorrow, so I allowed Derek to invite two friends over for the night. They intend to sleep on the beach. He is carrying the tent down there now, and I thought I would call before they arrive."

"I am pleased to hear from you. All is well here, also. As you can no doubt hear, Nyota is teaching herself to play the piano."

"I do hear. I thought that it might be the reason for your mood."

"Mood? I do not know what you mean."

She did not reply, so finally he said, "Very well. I am unsettled by some news I received just moments ago."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "What is it?"

"Sarek is remarrying." He knew that he had spoken as if the words left a bad taste in his mouth, but that could not be helped. He could hardly force himself to think of the concept at the moment, much less voice it.

"That is wonderful! I am so pleased for Sarek. Do you know her?"

"She is a young human who was a student of mine."

"Indeed? Did you introduce them to one another?"

"Actually, yes, I did," he conceded.

"I introduced two of my friends to their mates," she said smugly. "It is very satisfying. You must be quite pleased with yourself."

"Hardly. I do not find them a good match. She is not a suitable mate for him."

"Really? Why not?"

"My reasons are not important."

"I disagree. If your reasons are preventing you from accepting this match, then they could prove to be very important." She leaned closer to the screen. "You can tell me."

Folding his arms across his chest, he said, "You are merely curious."

She shrugged. "So I am curious. That does not change the fact that there must be a good reason for your opinion. Unless, of course, you are jealous on behalf of your mother. That attitude, I might point out, is quite illogical, for your father has always honored her memory. I would not expect this of you. He-"

"Very well." He knew that he was relenting for no other reason than to end her lecture, but he was growing weary of having his motives questioned. Nyota had been pressuring him to go to his father, despite the fact that it was clear his father must be the first person to make amends, and he did not wish to deal with Saavik's disapproval, as well. "The woman is of questionable character."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that she is known to be rather aggressive. One could even say predatory. She is also emotionally unstable."

"Indeed? I am surprised that Sarek would be attracted to someone like this. How can you be certain that your assessment is correct?"

"Because she attempted to, that is, I know from personal experience, she, ah..."

Nyota's voice came from behind him. "What he's trying to say, Saavik, is that his father's new girlfriend made a pass at him."

Saavik's jaw dropped. "She did that?"

He nodded. "When I said that she became aggressive, it was toward me."

"That is unbelievable." At his raised eyebrow, she hastily added, "Not that she would find you appealing, Spock, but that she would approach you while she and Sarek were making plans to marry."

"Marry?" said Nyota.

Spock nodded as he made room for Nyota next to him. "The call I received before Saavik's was from Sadev. It appears that Martin Cuellar had asked him if he should purchase a wedding gift for them."

Nyota groaned. "Oh, great."

"Indeed."

Saavik glanced away and frowned. "Oh, here comes Derek. He wants to talk to you, too." She lowered her voice. "Do not think that this will allow you to avoid telling me all of the details."

She stood, and a moment later Derek appeared. He was out of breath, and he had sand in his hair. "Hi!"

"Hi, honey," said Nyota. "You look like you've been busy. What's up?"

"My friends Tony and Isaac are coming over, and we're going to cook hot dogs over the fire and spend the night on the beach. I've been down there trying to get everything ready."

"It sounds great. What's the weather like?"

"It's hot. We'll have to wait until later to build the fire, or we'll be roasting ourselves instead of the hot dogs."

"Have you had any success at finding a ch'ra master?" asked Spock.

"Oh yeah, I'm glad you brought it up. There's this guy in Charleston who gives lessons, and I was supposed to ask you how I can know if he's any good."

"Would this 'guy' be Vulcan?"

Derek nodded vigorously. "His name is, uh, it's, uh..."

"Talet," supplied Saavik from the background.

"Yeah, that's it. Talet. He's supposed to be a level-three master. Do you know him?"

Spock raised an eyebrow in amusement. Throughout his life he had repeatedly encountered the misconception that every Vulcan knew every other Vulcan, and evidently even his own family was not immune. "No, I do not know him. It should not be difficult for me to see what I can learn about him. While a level-three master is not particularly advanced, his expertise should be sufficient for your purposes."

"It's better than going downtown and letting the guy who runs the bakery teach me."

"Undoubtedly."

A tone chimed in the background, and Derek looked over his shoulder. "That must be them. I'll talk to you later!"

"Have fun tonight," said Nyota.

He dashed away, so Saavik took the seat again. "So, where were we?"

"Nyota," said Spock. "Tell Saavik about your attempt to learn the piano."

"Spock!" said Saavik. "We were not through discussing Sarek. I believe that I had just commented on how unusual it is that this woman would approach you while she and Sarek were making plans to marry."

"It happened before she went after Sarek," explained Nyota.

"Does Sarek know that?"

"We have told him," replied Spock, "but he refuses to believe us. As you can imagine, it is the source of some tension at the moment."

"Which is putting it mildly," added Nyota.

"Is he displeased with you?"

"Quite," said Spock, "Miss Larkin has managed to convince him that I was the aggressor, and he believes that I am being dishonest about what happened."

Saavik took a deep breath, and Spock thought that if she had been human, she would have whistled.

"This is extraordinary," she finally said. "What will you do?"

"I do not know," he said. "Perhaps nothing."

"Maybe she's just doing this to make you jealous, Spock. After all, human women are known to do things like that. They will pretend to want one man, when secretly they want another. It is quite devious."

Nyota arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me? That trick is one of the oldest in the book, and it isn't confined to humans."

"A Vulcan would never act that way," replied Saavik.

Nyota met Spock's eyes. "Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. I've known at least one Vulcan woman who acted that way."

Fortunately, Saavik was too intent on her own train of thought to notice the innuendo. "Well, I would not behave that way. It is foolish. And it does not count that I was dating Michael's friend when I fell in love with Michael. That was an accident, not a plot."

"Oh, I've always had my suspicions," teased Nyota.

Saavik pursed her lips and frowned at Nyota before turning back to Spock. "At any rate, I am sorry, Spock. I know that this is difficult for you. Will you keep me informed? Truly, although I am curious, I am primarily concerned for Sarek."

"We will," said Spock.

"I should go now." Saavik glanced over her shoulder, and he could hear young masculine voices in the background. "The boys are raiding the stasis unit, and if I do not stop them, there will be nothing left for me to eat tonight."

"Very well, Saavikam. Spock out."

When the screen was dark, Nyota said, "Well. So he's going to marry her."

"So it would appear."

Her eyes downcast, she scuffed the carpet with one foot. "There's something I should tell you. I was considering keeping it to myself, but you deserve to know."

"What is it?"

"Perrin's behavior toward you was so bizarre that I thought I'd check up on her, so I called Oxford and pretended that I had some questions about her transcript. Don't be upset with me! I know it was sneaky, but I felt that it was justified."

He shook his head with displeasure, but all he said was, "Continue."

"Well, everything in her transcript was good. As a matter of fact, it was so good that they were sorry to lose her. They hadn't expected her to leave when she did. Did you know that she was enrolled in graduate school there until the last moment?"

"I did not."

"The lady I spoke with was really nice, and I was able to keep her chatting long enough to learn why Perrin left." She paused, and he could tell that it was for dramatic effect. "It turns out that Perrin got into a bit of a predicament with someone there, a seasoned local politician by the name of Geoffrey something-or-other. She was a volunteer on his campaign staff and she-get this-showed up at his office one day after his victory and was a little too enthusiastic with her congratulations."

"What does 'a little too enthusiastic' mean?"

"I asked the same question. The woman didn't know exactly what happened, but she'd heard that Perrin made a romantic overture toward him. He let her know in no uncertain terms that he wasn't interested, and the next thing they knew she'd withdrawn from graduate school and she was gone. Poof! Just like that."

"I see." He crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. "You realize that you are lending a great deal of credence to common gossip."

"But doesn't it sound like it could be true? Think about it! She set her sights on an older man with social prominence, and she deceived herself into thinking that he'd feel the same way about her. It's a repeating pattern."

He nodded reluctantly. "Except that, this time, she found a man who did not reject her."

"Exactly. Do you think that we should tell Sarek?"

"Tell him what? That you called Earth, misrepresented yourself, and heard some 'juicy gossip'? He would dismiss it outright, and I would not blame him."

She exhaled heavily. "I know. I suppose I wouldn't blame him, either. Maybe once he gets to know her better, he'll find out for himself."

"I doubt it. She has successfully convinced herself that events happened differently with me. I assume that she has done the same with the other incident, as well."

"You're probably right." She stood. "I'm really sorry it turned out this way, Spock. I guess at this point the only thing we can do is just learn to accept it the best we can."

She patted him on the shoulder and returned to the piano. After a long moment, he followed. Even listening to something that barely resembled "Clair de lune" was preferable to sitting here thinking about this.

End chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

Utoto, chapter 11

"Spock, you have to go over there. You grew up in that house. You can't just leave your father to close it up all by himself."

Standing next to the table, Uhura held out her arms beseechingly, but Spock continued to eat his breakfast.

"You know very well that he is not by himself," he said.

"That doesn't matter. You'll have to face the two of them someday. The bonding ceremony is just next week! Are you going to wait until then? It will be much less awkward if you do it now."

Spock pushed away his plate and rested both forearms on the table. "Father has still said nothing to us about the bonding. Indeed, except for the most perfunctory of communications, he has barely spoken with us throughout this entire debacle. If he does not have the courage to at least contact us and inform us of the bonding himself, I do not intend to go."

She pulled a chair closer to him and sat. "But he told us about the house. Maybe it was an overture of sorts."

"It was no such thing. He merely left a message. I have no doubt that he deliberately called at a time when he knew we would not be home."

"Still, it's an opening. It's up to you now to swallow your pride and contact him."

"He has made it very clear that he does not want to discuss the bonding."

She reached across the corner of the table and covered his hand with her own. "The two of you were estranged for too many years to let this come between you now. Someone has to make the first move. Why can't it be you?"

"Because my opinion on this matter has not changed. I cannot support something that is so clearly wrong. You and I both know exactly what happened with Perrin, and we already know that he will refuse to hear the truth."

She pulled her hand away. "All right. Go ahead and be bullheaded. I won't let this family be destroyed. If you won't go over there, I will. I'll even smile and act like I'm happy for them."

"You may do as you wish."

He moved his plate close again and resumed eating, so she scowled at him, then clenched her fists and strode away.

...

The door was open, so Uhura walked through the entry and peered cautiously into the main room. It was empty. Completely empty. There was a small rock in the corner and a fragment of brittle, yellowed paper where a large chair had once been, but otherwise everything was gone. From what she could see of the kitchen and the dining room, they were empty, too, except for a dusty old child's desk in the middle of the kitchen. She hadn't seen that thing for years. Amanda and she had been looking for something in the storage area off the utility one day, and Amanda had pointed it out. It had been Spock's, and Uhura could just picture the little boy who had worked so diligently at it until the day he finally became too big.

She could hear murmurs from the other end of the house, so she stepped into the back hallway.

"Hello?" she called out. "Is anyone home?"

The voices ceased, and a moment later Sarek appeared from the doorway of Spock's old room. At first he just looked at her, but finally he said, "Nyota. Greetings. I did not expect to see you today."

"I know. Sorry we didn't reply to your message."

"The message did not require a reply. I was merely informing you of today's events."

She nodded uncertainly. The message had been so cryptic that neither she nor Spock had been able to figure out whether Sarek was asking them to help him move, giving Spock one last chance to say goodbye to his childhood home, or rubbing their noses in the fact that he was going ahead with his plans despite anyone's objections.

She gestured to the room behind her. "I see that you're making good progress."

"The move has proceeded quickly." He paused and looked into Spock's room from the corner of his eye, and appeared to come to a decision. "Actually, your timing is fortuitous. We were just attempting to decide what to do with the last of Spock's things. Perhaps you would like to take them."

"Of course."

She followed him into the room, and as expected, Perrin was there. She was holding a small stack of books, which Uhura recognized as the old Earth titles Amanda had given Spock as a boy, and which had probably been on the closet shelf for close to ninety years. Uhura had to force herself not to curl her lip in distaste when Perrin dropped them roughly into a carton.

"Hello, Perrin," she said with as much warmth as she could muster.

Perrin replied with the same amount of artificial warmth. "Nyota. How good to see you again."

Uhura pointed at the carton. "Have you found all sorts of treasures?"

"If you consider an ancient electron microscope, a box of harp strings, a sehlat collar, and an assortment of old books treasures, then yes, we have certainly accumulated a wealth of riches for you."

Resisting the urge to wrap a harp string around Perrin's neck, Uhura walked over to the closet and quickly gathered the last few items. "I know you won't want this old robe, and this firepot has obviously seen better days. And look at this-an old t'al'uv puzzle."

"It was one of Spock's favorites when he was very young," interjected Sarek.

"I'm sure you won't want it, either, or this chemistry set." She opened the case. "How about that-it's in perfect shape. Too bad Derek's too old for something like this. I'll just put it in the carton, and I'll come back in a minute for the uniforms."

Sarek walked to the closet and smoothed a sleeve. "Amanda always insisted that Spock keep one of each uniform Starfleet issued to him through the years. He professed never to see the logic in it, yet even his cadet uniform is still here."

Perrin brushed past him and lifted the uniforms off the rod. "Allow me to help you with these, Nyota. Do you want them in the back seat?"

"Yes, thank you." As Uhura rearranged the carton to make room for the chemistry set, she nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "What about Spock's old desk? No one has paid any attention to it for years. Were you going to take it? It's a child's desk, and if you don't have any use for it, uh, I mean..."

"We have simply not shipped the last few items," replied Perrin coolly. "Of course, if you truly want the desk, it's yours."

"No, no, never mind." Feeling the heat rise to her face, Uhura leaned close to the carton and furiously rearranged things. "I just didn't want it to get left behind. Well, that chemistry set won't fit. I'll just carry it."

"I will take the carton," said Sarek.

Uhura looked around the room. "So that's it? Is there anything else I should take?"

"No," said Sarek. "The movers have one last shipment to transport, and we will be finished."

Uhura looked up sharply at the tone of his voice. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that he sounded almost wistful. The next instant, he lifted the carton and started for the door, so she picked up the chemistry set and filed out behind Perrin. No one spoke as they walked through the house, but she stopped and turned around just before she was to exit the front door.

She had loved this house. It seemed that she should still be able to walk into the kitchen and find Amanda sitting at the table with two cups of coffee, just waiting for Uhura to join her. She could almost hear Spock's voice as he debated something with his father, or the gentle sound of his harp as he practiced in his favorite chair by the window. Over there in the corner was the very faint stain from when Derek had drawn a picture on the wall and tried to rub it off before anyone could see what he had done.

She blinked away a tear that threatened to escape, took a deep breath, and turned and left. Sarek and Perrin were already putting things in the flitter. Uhura placed the chemistry set in the front passenger seat, then faced them.

"So," she said.

Sarek raised his chin. "Your assistance was most kind."

"I wanted to be here," she said.

"I do hope you will be our guest at the estate soon," said Perrin. Uhura noticed the emphasis on the word 'guest.' It was obvious that Sarek's new home was not to be considered a home for either her or Spock.

Ignoring her, Uhura fixed her eyes on Sarek. She had to say something now, for it was now or never. "Sarek, I know that you're not very pleased with Spock right now..."

The warmth she had seen in his eyes vanished, but she forged on.

"...but you have to call him. You have to tell him yourself that you're getting bonded."

"Logic dictates that there is no need to tell him that which he already knows."

"It doesn't matter what he knows. He needs to hear it from you."

"If he wishes to discuss matters, he is quite capable of contacting me."

"But you're the one with the big changes in your life! He shouldn't have to beg you to share them with him."

Sarek raised a frosty eyebrow. "Am I to understand that he is prepared to apologize to me and to Perrin?"

"Uh..." She dropped her eyes. "No."

"Then I have nothing to say to him."

She took a step closer. She knew that she was invading his personal space, but he stood fast. "Are you telling me that Spock-your own child-is not welcome at your bonding ceremony?"

"Until he is willing to concede that he has behaved improperly, I believe that neither he nor I would find his presence appropriate."

"So that's it," she said. "He won't call you, and you won't call him, and you're going to let this come between you. It's going to happen all over again, just like it did when he went off to the Academy."

"He was wrong then, as well."

Her shoulders sagged, and she finally shook her head and backed away. "Amanda would be heartbroken if she were here to see this," she muttered.

Perrin moved close to Sarek and rested one hand delicately on his elbow. "Nyota, don't be silly. If Amanda were here, we wouldn't have this situation, now, would we? And nothing would break her heart more than to know of the terrible act her son committed. Perhaps it is a blessing that she's gone."

Opening the flitter door, Uhura gave Perrin a look that she hoped shot daggers before addressing Sarek one last time.

"I pray that you'll realize what a terrible mistake you're making before it's too late."

When he did not respond, she climbed in, started the flitter, and left. As she banked toward home, she saw Perrin hold up two fingers for a Vulcan embrace, and she had to swallow past the bile in her throat when Sarek returned the gesture.

...

Kneeling next to Nyota, Spock accepted the plant she handed to him, and he placed it in a hole. The air was just beginning to cool, and although this was still somewhat early in the evening for her comfort, she had stated that she was anxious to get the small succulents she had purchased today into the ground.

He sat back on his heels while she decided which plant would go into the next spot. She had tied her hair back with an old scarf, and as he watched, she absently rubbed her cheek with the back of her gloved hand. Her skin was slightly damp with perspiration, and when she put both hands on the pot again, he saw that she had left behind a great deal of sand. It did not matter. They had no place else to go this evening.

The bonding ceremony was probably over. No doubt his absence had been duly noted by now, and it was only a matter of time before T'Pau would question Sarek on the reason. Spock would be most curious to learn what Sarek would have to say. Perhaps it would get back to him eventually.

Uhura handed him another plant, so he scooped out an appropriate quantity of sand and placed the plant into the hole. After it was in place, he met her eyes and she smiled at him. She had never told him what happened when she went to see Sarek and Perrin, but there had been no need. She had not pressured him again about attending the bonding, and the fact that she had tied her hair up in a scarf and asked him to work in the yard with her at this time made the message very clear. There was no chance that they would receive an invitation at the last moment.

She sorted through the remaining plants and chose a shrub to put into the ground next, so he stood, picked up the shovel, and dug a larger hole. He then helped her remove it from the pot, and after several attempts they had adjusted its position to her liking, and he was able to pack the sand back around the roots.

She put her hands on her hips and surveyed what they had left. "I think that I might have bought more than we need."

"We will find a place for them."

"What do you think about putting a few of them around front? That cactus I planted last month isn't doing very well. Maybe we should replace it."

"That is acceptable."

"Okay. Give me a moment to figure out which ones I want to reserve for the front yard, and we can just fill in this plot with what's left."

He looked up while she studied the remaining plants. The sky was even more orange in the direction of Mount Seleya than it had been yesterday at sunset; apparently the sandstorms were beginning early this year. He would have to check the seals on the windows tomorrow. It was unusual that the storms over the desert whipped up enough sand to affect them here, but after the problems he and Nyota had experienced last year with sand in the bathroom, he did not wish to take any chances.

The place of his family was on the lee side of Mount Seleya, but if the sandstorms had already begun in earnest, the swirling sand further out would have been quite impressive today. When he was a child, his mother had complained whenever they had been forced to go there during the storms, but he had always secretly liked it. He had felt secure in the knowledge that no matter how awesome the forces of nature might become, they were still no match for the giant that sheltered him.

That had been so many years ago.

"Are you all right?" asked Nyota.

Turning back in her direction, he realized that she had already made her selections. The setting sun behind her head cast her face in shadow, but he could still see the concern in her expression. He could hide nothing from her. Of course, he had always known that, but he seemed to have forgotten it recently. His feigned nonchalance had been no more convincing than her silence after her last conversation with his father.

He brushed the sand from her cheek. "I do not know."

He expected her to tell him once again to rise above his pride and go to his father, but instead, she simply nodded. They stood like that until he picked up the shovel, and they returned to their work.

...

Perrin strolled through the grand home-_her _grand home-and was careful to keep every trace of emotion from her face. She was alone, so no one would witness it if she smiled or even threw her arms in the air with laughter, but she was determined to learn how to be a good wife.

A wife. Sarek's wife.

At the moment, her husband was at an important meeting that had been called because of a "situation" on Centaurus. She didn't know any details, but it was obvious that something major had happened. She would have to ensure that she discussed it with him when he returned. As an ambassador's wife, it was crucial that she know these things.

She paused in front of a mirror to adjust her cowl. Sarek had told her that she didn't have to wear it at home, but one never knew when visitors might call, and she wanted to be presentable. Plus, she thought that it was rather flattering, so she didn't mind.

Continuing her slow inspection, she ran her fingers along the reliquary she had just acquired. It was topped with the finest Vulcan granite, and there was nothing frivolous or human about it. Maybe it had been somewhat expensive, but that was acceptable. Only the best would do for a fine home that had been long neglected. Plus, it had been many years since Sarek had entertained on the scale appropriate for someone of his stature, but that would change now, and she must ensure that they had the appropriate environment. Vulcans did not gossip, but they did talk, and soon word would spread that Sarek and his new wife had raised their standard of living to a new height.

Things would change now. She would change them. Finally, she had found her place in life, and no one would ever stand in her way again.

End story

The next story in this series is The Softest Star.


End file.
